Time to dust off my old friend...



Yep, I actually went back and fired up the ol' Wii Fit Balance Board, because while I find New Year's Day to be an arbitrary bullshit signifier with no real meaning, the fact that I can't see my cock when I look down in the shower anymore isn't.

And after greeting me kindly and saying it looked forward to a Happy New Year (why, thank you!) I was informed that it was 634 days since my last visit (ewwwwwwww) and that I gained back the fifteen pounds I lost since then (double ewwwwwwww). Fortunately, Wii Fit is perfect for losing ten-fifteen or so; all I need to do is what I've always known I've needed to do, start exercising again (want to), eat a little better (need to) and chill with the late night snacks (HOW TO?????).

That last one's the killer, I really fuck myself bad with those 9 pm snacks, usually a bowl of cereal with a milk/half-and-half mixtureI KNOW I KNOW IT'S HORRIBLE OK? DON'T YOU THINK I WANNA STOP IT?

I've set my goal, back down to a fighting weight of 149 (-12 pounds) in three months...sigh, I know blogging is inherently a navel-gazing activity but I wish it wasn't so literal here.

Good luck, VA-5...

This is the guy that wasn't good enough for you.



I agree with Mark Warner's assessment, though, if Mr. Perriello decides to stay in politics, it won't be the last we see of him.

And having spent twelve years with Virgil Goode as our rep, I'm very thankful for two years of non-embarrassment.

At least those snowplows won't be helping him out of the bathroom...

I don't think Chris Christie has been a great governor of my former state, to say the least. He's been a fucking embarrassment, to be more accurate.

All the same, I don't necessarily blame him for taking a vacation even though he knew the snowstorm was coming. What I find amazingly weird is why the Lt. Governor would be on vacation the same week. Isn't that the point of the damn job?

It just reminds me of what P. J. O'Rourke said about twenty-five years ago: "The Republican Party is the party that says government doesn't work, then they get elected and prove it."

8 Bits O' Nevsky - In Space, No One Can Hear You Shit Your Pants Edition

Just played through the Dead Space 2 demo for the PS3 and I'm glad I did. Long story short, it's very good at what it does but I've clearly been spoiled by Resident Evil 4 (hey, who hasn't) and, oddly enough, Dead Space Extraction.

You probably noticed that both of those are for the Wii, and I really miss those controls. Maybe the right thumbstick for aiming isn't that big a deal for all you FPSers out there but I have a little trouble with that and that's a recipe for disaster in this game.

I also am a not a super-huge fan of the game's tendency to throw enemies at you from all sides without giving you some sort of radar tool to know that they're coming. You're supposed to detect them through the surround sound, and believe you me, when all you hear are footsteps from a corner then you're ready to wet your power suit. But when the game spams enemies at you (particularly one scene) it's hard to get a bead on them when they're getting cheap shots at your back.

Having said that, the demo was 30 minutes of mostly fun (save a tiresome stasis puzzle), but I can definitely wait for a few months until the price drops to $30...

Our new congressman, everybody...

Hate to say "I told you so"...wait a minute, I don't hate that at all.

U.S. Rep.-elect Robert Hurt, who last week was named to the House Financial Services Committee, has received more than $127,000 in campaign contributions from the financial industry that the committee oversees.

And the apologists are already flooding the comment box with comments about Reid, Pelosi, and "everyone does it", clearly ignoring the last sentence in the article.

Perriello did not accept donations from federally registered lobbyists or corporate political action committees.

It might be nice if you just freely admitted you voted for the corporate shill because of the (R) next to his name. Let's just not pretend that things like "doing a good job" and "free from corporate interests" were important in November's elections...

"And the lynchings weren't too bad, either. Oh, sure, sometimes I'd get blisters from holding the rope...

I'm glad Barbour is getting his deserved derision. Because sometimes, we, as a nation, need not to puff ourselves up with outrage, but simply take a deep breath and say, in unison...

I am a bit surprised that there are still things a candidate can say that can knock them out of the running for the Republican presidential nomination...

Today's news, in sonnet.

Siding blindly with the Russkies
used to get the traitor's noose.
With the Repubs, no big whoop-ski
if it cooks the black guy's goose.

Amazing epic Iggles comeback
leaves all Giants fans to say
"Biggest punch straight to our nutsacks
'cept for all the games they've played."

Pundits all pontificate
on what Sarah's words could mean.
With Google English I can translate
"Duh duh duh duh durr durr deen."

Clean or stinky, large or small,
Happy holidays to all!

Watch out, Tom Coburn...

McCain's trying to take your "Most Angry Insane Jerkoff" badge.

I'm mostly in the "he was never that great to begin with" camp, but I do remember a McCain interview with Jon Stewart a few years back when he was talking about the importance of green energy to combat air pollution and thinking he came off as intelligent and decent.

It truly is a shame that he's clearly been neither in more recent debates. Not liking a guy and wishing he would forego petty grievances to preserve some sort of legacy are not mutually exclusive things.

Damn, I'm sad. So long, Captain...

Fuck.

You were fucking awesome...

Fucking fuck you, Time, you fucking asshole.

My teeny tiny baby girl turned four today. She's so grown-up and happy, but I remember when she was just a li'l warm bundle...it's only a matter of time before she goes on into the world and my old ass is just wavin' goodbye.

It's the sort of poignant moment that can only be addressed by multiple Alex Lifesons and Geddy Lees around a floating Aimee Mann.

This would almost be worth never, ever, getting laid. Ever.

Via Topless Robot is the most awesome thing that ever was, all 11 Doctors in figurine form.



I mean, my first thought is, jesus fuck, what self-respecting nerd wouldn't want this? Then my second thought is JESUS FUCK! COLIN BAKER'S SUIT IS BURNING OUT MY EYEBALLS!

I'll include the Amazon link; if enough nerds click through, I'll be able to get a set.

And bro, you can have one...who's your favorite Doc again, McGann?

Pussies of the world unite...


Your new leader, joining with the other members of the board...




Fucking fuck Orangeman's fake fucking tears. I don't understand how someone so clearly ballness has the nuts to go on national TV and talk about how the big black guy hurt his fee-fees. Especially when did his goddamn best to make sure the unemployed ran out of benefits because the tax cut for millionaires wasn't big enough. Where were his tears when his colleagues in the Senate were filibustering health care for 9/11 workers? It makes me want to take up smoking just in case the opportunity to put my cigarette out on his Sunkist-shaded skin arises.

It is rare when I get to apply all the Russian lit crit I read in real life, but this reminded me about something Nabokov talked about...

We must distinguish between “sentimental” and “sensitive”. A sentimentalist may be a perfect brute in his free time. A sensitive person is never a cruel person. Sentimentalist Rousseau, who could weep over a progressive idea, distributed his many natural children through various poorhouses and workhouses and never gave a hoot for them. A sentimentalist old maid may pamper her parrot and poison her niece. The sentimentalist politician may remember Mother’s Day and ruthlessly destroy a rival. Stalin loved babies. Lenin sobbed at the opera…

And this guy is the new standard bearer of the opposition. God help us...

Edited: Because Blogger upload and HTML aren't my friends. Good thing I'm not Boehner or the tragedy would have caused me to stick my thumb up my ass and start blubbering big ol' crocodile tears...

Holy shit, is this fucking horrible.

I understand that the Black Eyed Peas have become pretty much a joke among the internet hipsters, but I really hadn't listened to anything post-Fergie, and the one song I did hear was inoffensive and forgettable. Sure, they weren't great, but they didn't inspire any emotion greater than mild boredom.

And then I looked at this via Kotaku, and holy fucking shit. Words cannot describe the banality, the barest hint of a hook, lyrics a three-year-old could come up with (actually, that's not fair, my kid would have had lines like "the bear's going to poop on you!"), this song made me want to punch each Black Eyed Pea in the balls. Including Fergie.

Even when better bloggers aren't better, their commentors rock.

Yes, it's a Balloon Juice link, but it's a link to this comment:

--
The GOP is achieving their goals, because their goal is to attack anything that Obama wants. That’s it. The south could literally be on fire and if Obama wanted to put it out, the GOP would oppose that. The GOP and the Dems are playing entirely different games here – the Dems playing the one they were elected to do.

But what do people want the Dems to do? They want good policy, except when they don’t ‘fight hard enough’ for that policy, and then they want good policy + 1. So when the Dems are beating the GOP, the policy is never good enough and when the policy is good enough, the Dems aren’t humiliating the GOP enough. And when the Dems aren’t beating the GOP, then any victories they had over the last 22 months are null and void and only the toughest, most loyal Democrats can point out that the party sucks shit all the time, and if they would just believe more, they would be able to bend the spoon and be victorious.
--

I'll just save this on cut n' paste next time I hear the word "caving"...

Traitors.

Because even though everyone's getting a tax cut, it's not a big enough tax cut for the rich.

And the Repubs are siding with the Russians over Americans, and letting jobless benefits run out, and Obama is left with the choice of letting national security and the unemployed suffer to prove a point or "caving". And it doesn't matter because Repubs have shown time and time again they're more than happy letting the country go down the drain if they can stick it to the black guy.

It's just a shame that they never get called on their sociopathy.

I'm sure this is Obama's fault too, somehow...

We didn't get the World Cup, losing to Qatar and Russia. Ok, Qatar I can understand, it's got that cool "Q" at the beginning. You can make a lot of nifty slogans with that soccer ball...

But Russia? As much as it pains me to say it, as someone who has traveled and lived in Russia extensively during the 90s but hasn't been there in nine years, I don't see how they're going to be able to pull this off. That is, pull it off without extensive infrastructure and internal violence issues. I see that I'm not the only one.

So I'm wondering if the voters were swayed by the whiff of polonium in the air...

Shocked, shocked I am, that the Repubs would act this way...

Putting petty politics above the needs of Americans? Knock me over with a feather.

I mean, after the START treaty crappo, can we start calling this bullshit treason?

Update: Fuck it, I'm calling it treason.

Today's news, in sonnet.

Prez Obama freezing wages?
For the budget, that's no spanner.
Next time just tell Boehner's pages
not to spend so much on tanner.

Leslie had us all in stitches
from ages eight to eighty-five.
RIP, and the world bitches
"Damn it, Dane Cook's still alive."

Gift for Christie from the feds,
a multi-million dollar bill.
Guv's not worried, 'cause he spends
more for lunch at Slop N' Swill.

Sorry bro, I meant a tribute.
This post takes it up the dirt chute.

Google ads are bullshit...usually.

But for some reason I get a Papa John's ad on the top now plugging something called "Zesty Jalapeno & Meats". Three words I unconditionally love. With an ampersand.

So I'm going to bed now because if I stick around the computer anymore I might be sorely tempted to do something that would result in the hottentrots...

8 Bits O' Nevsky - I'm Not Made Of Fucking Stone Edition

Amazon's doing a sick deal today so I picked up Arkham Asylum for $15. Fifteen fucking dollars.

I also picked up a DS game for the UVA Children's Hospital wish list via the Child's Play charity because when you tie in ridiculous videogame sales with altruism, EVERYONE WINS!

So go pick up something for yourself, or the kids, and even better, click through the Amazon links on the right while you're doing it!

I'm on your side, Kanye...

And after reading your tweet, I know someone who would sympathize...

Can the Tea Party not make me want to blow my head off this morning?

So the Virginia TP is lobbying hard for Don't Tread on Me license plates.

This will allow Commonwealth residents to indicate their disapproval of overtaxation by...paying a higher fee to the Commonwealth.

This will also allow me to get a headstart on my holiday drinking.

8 Bits O' Nevsky - 8 Bit Trip edition

Because with last week's elections is there a better time to retreat into a fantasy world?

Wii owners need to rejoice and buy all the games of the Bit.Trip series yesterday. Never mind justifying Wiiware (though it does do that), the five games of this series is part of a very small handful of downloadable games that you can throw back in the faces of those HD-owning bullies (along with Cave Story, World of Goo, and the Lost Winds games).

Bit.Trip Fate is the fifth, and in my humble opinion, the best of the series. All of the games have great music and aesthetics but some (Void) play better than others (Runner). While playing along to the music is the point, my faves, this one and Void, do allow the player a slight bit of flexibility. Of course, all of them are also as hard as fucking fuck and would drive most gamers to controller-throwing fits. Not me, though, I just give up.

Got through the first two worlds in this one, though. Hope does spring eternal. Anyway, the five games will set you back $34 total so far, which is a bargain. Here are some videos...

Of course, I can't help it...

Furiously refreshing the Virginia Election returns website like an idiot...

Frankly, I'm surprised it's this close, with C-Ville only a third counted and Albemarle still to go (as of this posting). Still, from everything I can see and hear, I have a sinking feeling it's going to be one of those Pyrrhic victories, my least favorite kind of victory...

Sick as a dog, but going out to vote...

Can't not vote for Perriello, after all.

I'm still hoping against hope that he'll be able to pull it out, that the Obama visit energized the base, that the debates illustrated what a superior candidate Perriello has been, that the residents of our district might not be so quick to dismiss a congressman whose constituent service has been a vast improvement over Virgil Goode despite not being affiliated with the dominant party here.

But whatever the result, Tom has done it his way, and a victory here would offer a blueprint to Democrats in Republican districts (rule 1: stop being such a fucking pussy).

And win or lose, Robert Hurt is finishing up his campaign his way too, by being a whiny jerk.

UPDATE: Oh, and Hurt's supporters stayed classy to the end, too.

President Obama at last night's rally in Charlottesville.

Of course Barack Obama and Tom Perriello were great...

I mean, would you expect any different?

We got there at about 5, with the line already winding through the entire Downtown Mall, around the Ice Rink, and back down to Second Street Gallery, where we stayed. We got in about 7, and according to our friends, they shut the lines down five minutes later.

Once I get the video on my computer, I'll download the last four minutes. It was awe-inspiring. Now let's just hope it's enough to put Tom over the top.

This.

Well, this is a big get for Tom...

...lessee, how about an endorsement from, I don't know, President Obama? Honestly, it's the least Barry could do, and maybe some of Tom's populist touch can rub off on him.

No one can say Tom's not earning it...

Doing a whirlwind tour of the district for 24 hours straight? That's kinda cool.

As for Hurt, I think if you added up all the appearances he's made throughout the campaign, you'd get 24 hours. If you included the primary.

Another debate, another curbstomping...

I'm not naive; if debates made THAT big a deal we'd be in the middle of the second term of President Kerry. But watching Perriello ring circles around Hurt time after time is definitely redundant, albeit still enjoyable.



Watching Perriello pwn Hurt at the end to raucous applause (in an ostensibly pro-Hurt part of the district, no less) is delicious. But what's more telling is the painful middle part where Hurt draws out the comment that Perriello won't accept money from corporations. Um, that's the point Tom's been making all campaign. Way to create ad copy, senator.

But maybe I'm being hard on Hurt, let's leave it to the judges:



I think Republicans can agree on this point: if Perriello pulls this out, Hurt will have a lot to answer for from the Repubs.

Well, I might have to start listening to NPR again...

...since Breitbart's going off it.

Now if they fire Roberts I might even give them some cash...

Christ, Palin's an idiot. Or, to be fair, whoever tweets for her.

I am, obviously, not the Constitutional scholar that she is, or Christine O'Donnell is, for that matter, but I don't understand how firing Juan Williams is a violation of his First Amendment rights, unless the First Amendment says private companies don't have the right to fire people...

Update: Hee, beat John Cole to the punchline, though his font is funnier...

Another debate, another victory for Congressman Perriello...

And again, it isn't even close...

I thought Robert Hurt represented a portion of the 5th District, so why can't he seem to answer questions about it?

No wonder he keeps mentioning Nancy Pelosi. Maybe he should try debating her, he couldn't do any worse, and he's probably just as knowledgeable about her district as he is about this one.

8 Bits O' Nevsky - I Obviously Suck Edition

You can beat Demon's Souls in under an hour? You're a god to me.

And the game is going to Pure Black Tendency for the rest of the month, so now's the time to finally see what's beyond all those closed gates...

Owwwww, that's gotta Hurt...

Our congressman pwning State Sen. Robert Hurt...



Just so you know, Bobby, if you do win, there's a lot of reading in the job...

8 Bits O' Nevsky - Holy Shit I Want This Edition

Holy shit. I want this.

8 Bits O' Nevsky - Party Like It's 1989 Edition

* I've been bouncing against the walls for Dragon's Lair Trilogy for the Wii, which was supposed to come out last week but when I asked about it at Gamestop they looked at me as if I had lobsters crawling out of my ears. I don't care. I've waited 20 years for the two DL games and Space Ace to come out on one moderately-priced disc, and I'll be damned if I'm denied. It's long past time I've confronted my nightmare fuel.



* Oooh, speaking of wasting quarters in the late 80s - early 90s. I've got Colossus.

Happy Birthday, Congressman Perriello!

It was mentioned on his Facebook page and it really made me wonder something; of course you're going to get idiotic trolls on almost any blog, but what sort of sociopathic asshole do you have to be to troll a Facebook page? Don't you have to ask to be a friend before you can comment on those pages?

Anyway, some articles have been coming in showing the race is neck-and-neck, which I guess you can call a huge surge on Perriello's part, except of course those other polls were ridiculous to begin with.

But seeing the VFW's endorsement of him in Danville was especially touching; notice the one guy who remarks how Perriello looked out for veterans when the other guy didn't. If the congressman manages to pull this off, it will be due to the excellent constituent service he's provided for the past two years.



Let's just hope this election will be about our district and not about punching Pelosi in the ovaries.

For fuck's sake, give it up, Cooch...

You're such a goddamn embarrassment.

I'm not sure why you think you should be governor if this is how you treat the taxpayers' dime.

For all of you that cried at the end of Babe, 'cause I know it wasn't just me...

The fam all had a great time yesterday at the Fall Fiber Festival out on Montpelier yesterday, and the weather's so awesome, so if you're looking for something to do, get a blanket and a couple of canvas chairs, pack a picnic, and head out there. Really reasonable rates ($5 per adult) and nice idyllic fields full of noble border collies. I can't think of a better way to spend a nice Sunday afternoon...

Robert's widdle fee-fees got Hurt...

With all the time he saves not attending debates, it's good to know he's doing stuff with his free time...like writing pissy letters to editorial boards for calling him on that.

And kudos to the editor for standing by their editorial in the comments.

I guess I understand why Hurt might not want to debate our congressman. If you're relying on fricking George Allen to be your spokesman, you can't have that much confidence in your rhetorical abilities.

So I'm making dinner for my kid, right? She's three...

And I'm putting some croutons on her plate...
"Daddy, I want a lot!"
You get two, OK?
"No, I want a lot! I want twenty!"
Look, kid, you either get two or zero.
"I want zero!"

And I thought, shit, now I know how Obama feels...

So, what will respected Dmitry Anatolyevich do, fire me? Ho, to see him try would be pleasing to me!

Having lived in Russia during the tumultuous 90s, I never thought I'd see the day Yuri Luzhkov would cease to be the mayor of Moscow.

But apparently he forgot his post isn't decided by elections...

Apparently he's stated that he's going to re-enter the political arena. Gee, in his place I'd think I'd go with my billionaire wife off to Sochi or Greece and just lay low before the FSB decided to encourage further retirement via the force-feeding of a polonium smoothie.

Oh, so THAT's what those things are...

I've seen no more than four or five at a time at my place; a couple stuck in our screen door, one flying through the front door, another (somehow) up in my loft. So all in all, I don't have the stinkbug horror stories as others in our community have....

Greetings, Juicers!

Doug J of Balloon Juice was kind (and crazy) enough to post an open thread asking for his readers' blogs. Checking my stats, odds are 3 to 1 that you're reading this because of that.

Hope you pop in from time to time! Sure, BJ's got great stuff, but if you want commentary about a 2D-fighter featuring scantily-clad raccoon-women, I'm yer guy!

Because 2 + 2 = 5 cares. And loves. And all that other crappo.

Yep, love this goddamn town so much I'll be off at the Day of Caring tomorrow doing the thing I despise the most, physical labor.

And while my co-workers cynically exploit this day to be out of the office, you can be assured that I am making a true sacrifice because there's nothing I love more than being in my cubicle protected from the elements.

Really. Outside. Feh, I say. Feh.

Another edition of "What John Cole said"...

This comment about recalcitrant liberals is so awesome I'm going to copy as much as I can without breaking copyright law...

"Good god, you insufferable firebaggers never stop, do you? You’re trying to push me into putting a straw into a Laphroiag bottle, aren’t you?

IT ISN’T ABOUT YOU. IT ISN’T ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS. It isn’t about your pet issues. The grand total of the membership for people who care about all your specific pet issues is one. It’s you.

This is about the direction of the country. Every single one of us can list multiple ways in which Obama, the Democrats, and the media have let us down, but still, until you progressives with all the answers start changing the minds of the electorate at large and Dennis Kucinich wins precisely ONE goddamned primary, you are stuck with what you have with the Democrats..."

Fortunately, I'm in a district with a great congressman and will happily vote for him, but for those that would actually think for one second about letting Boehner and No-Chin control things, really...

Duckie ducks another one...



State senator Robert Hurt (left, archive photo) skipped another debate; for those keeping count, this is his third.

He's supposedly going to attend later debates where two-percenter nutball Clark is not invited, that is, if he can get over the disappointment of Molly Ringwald going with Andrew McCarthy. Really, Molly, how shallow of you...

Great news for our district...

Oliver Kuttner's company took down an X Prize...

Our congressman was just talking about the impact of companies like this for our district...

Delaware? I thought the answer was a brand new jersey...

No, not much to say about the teatard victory in Delaware...

But if she is anti-masturbation, well, there goes the whole blogger vote, right there...

The Chang is back! Long live The Chang!

Wow, if Peter Chang can make that shithole a place to get a celestial meal, then he truly is a master...

Buy Higher Grounds coffee...

I was already having one of those "if I don't get my coffee soon someone's getting murdered, preferably a stranger" days, and to compound it, I didn't realize until I got there that I didn't have cash.

But the wonderful barista just told me to pay tomorrow. Sure, it's a safe bet, since I'm there 200 times a year, but she still didn't have to do that.

So everybody, buy Higher Grounds coffee. Here in Charlottesville. Higher Grounds coffee.

Hee. Corgi pup.

Awwww, he can't reach the toy with his li'l stubby legs...

Good for you, JMU...

Wow, what an upset. Next time I swing up I-81 I'll tip my cap to you as I pass exit 245...

8 Bits O' Nevsky - Waka Waka Waka Edition

OK, walk with me through my thought process here.

I was mildly pleased to read that Namco was updating Pac-Man Championship Edition for the XBox and PS3. I played the XBox version and certainly liked it enough to want a version for the PS3...

Then I remembered that I owned a Hori Fighting Stick (giggle) so I could play BlazBlue without getting carpal tunnel pain and thought...I'm going to be able to play Pac-Man...with a Pac-Man-style joystick.

Pac-Man...with a Pac-Man-style joystick.

And time stopped like when Anton Ego tasted his ratatouille...

Hey Rob, just so you know, your district's in Virginia. Virginia.

There's going to be another debate in our district, and once again, Robert Hurt is ducking it.

He's got a good excuse this time; he'll be attending a fundraiser in Texas. Because it's really important in our district to get that Texan vote.

What tires me is that I see very little evidence that this will (heh) hurt Hurt. For his voters, it's not about what's best for our district, it's about punching Nancy Pelosi in her womany ovaries or something.

And if I didn't live in this district I'd be happy to let them have the representative they deserve.

No one said it was going to be easy...

And I agree with Lowell that this poll that shows Congressman Perriello only down by two is too good to be true. That six percent for Clark looks VERY suspect to me, unless it weighs Charlottesville heavily and the Repubs there are punishing Hurt for blowing off their debate. Still, I find it very hard to believe that Hurt is up by twenty-six. Al Weed didn't even lose by that much, did he? I think even the gloaters on the forums won't take a fifty-buck bet that Hurt will win by that. Of course, as the congressman undoubtedly already knows, a win's a win, even if it's one vote.

If it is close (and at this point, who the hell knows), then the congressman has a shot because his organization was tops at getting out the votes last year and perhaps he can combat the general malaise that's gripping the country re: Democrats. But this district's demographics definitely work against him.

And even though piling on Perriello seems to be the hip thing to do in the Virginia political blogs, even I have to say I'm not a huge fan of his latest ad. While there's no question Robert "World Of" Hurt is a corporate whore, I think the Congressman has been the best salesman of himself, and this ad keeps his screen time to a minimum. I'd love to see an ad detailing very specifically the projects he's brought to the 5th (which even Hurt can't bring himself to criticize).

We still great power! Our cars superior!

Mrs. Nevskaya showed me the hot new viral video in Russia; a little background, Pootie-Poot was pootie-pooting around in a Russian Lada car to show the strength and durability of domestic cars. The problems here are a) Putin took three yellow Ladas on his trip, presumably in case one of them broke down b) all the other cars in the ridiculously large entourage were clearly of foreign make, and c) the punchline occurs at around the 2-minute mark, where the third yellow Lada is on the back of a truck and the audience assumes (not unreasonably) that it must have broken down.

Here's a British blog article on the whole debacle, and those students of Russian language and linguistics will no doubt delight at the curse words thrown around.

8 Bits O' Nevsky - WTF am I supposed to do next edition

If you were concerned about purchasing Metroid: Other M because you had heard that it was a bit of a departure from past games, let me assure you that it is a Metroid game through and through.

Because I've played it for 20 minutes and it's already really fucking pissing me off.

No, I'm not a big Metroid fanboy. Not unlike the Final Fantasy series, the only game I've managed to beat is the first one on the NES. And I'm pretty sure I piggybacked on my brother's progress on that one to finish it. Unlike Zelda, I don't think I really got a handle of how I was supposed to progress. All those little nooks and crannies that encouraged exploration just confused the hell out of me, occasionally I'd trip through a hole and progress but more often than not I'd go back and forth between rooms clearly missing something but not taking the time to look as closely as I should have.

And things didn't improve so much when I bought the Metroid Prime Trilogy last year. I felt I had to buy the game the way semi-intellectuals purchase The Complete Works of Shakespeare, because it would look good on my shelf. And for fifty bucks MPT is an unbelievable bargain. It's either a testimony to the series or a condemnation of 90% of Wii game designers that the original Metroid Prime is still one of the best-looking games on the Wii. But I stopped about 25% into the first game despite the excellent level design and wonderful controls because...well, I'm not really sure why. Really need to get back to it.

So anyway, I pop in Other M, big cutscenes, check. Quick tutorial, and the Wiimote-only controls seem unnecessarily difficult. Why not use the nunchuk for moving around? Then you can use either the C or Z button to pop into visor mode. Fine, I get down to a room, defeat the enemies, and spend fifteen minutes looking for the next key. And I just can't fricking find it and it's getting on my nerves so much I decide to quit even though I wasn't able to save my progress which means I'm going to have to watch those cutscenes again and I just bet you can't skip through them.

So, this Metroid experience will be like just the others, I fear. You'd think I'd learn.

Speaking of shriveled-up teats, what, you weren't speaking about that?

Times can be hard, we're all busy. We've all got our own responsibilities to ourselves, our loved ones, and society as a whole.

And despite being busy, I would be remiss in my societal duties if I didn't say fuck Alan Simpson. Sideways.

Anyone looking for another opinion on that doughy douchebag?

At first, I didn't feel like commenting on the Beck sideshow in DC, he was so clearly a clown it was better for my blood pressure to ignore him.

But then I had a discussion with some friends who I consider pretty reasonable (i.e. Democratic) but told me the so-called Ground Zero so-called mosque shouldn't be built. Oh, no one was arguing they didn't have the right to build their center, but "they should be more sensitive" to others. I pointed out that it's difficult to be sensitive to manufactured fake outrage because there's absolutely no way to alleviate it, but it occurred to me that no one was arguing that Beck was being insensitive by appropriating a definite moment of the civil rights movement for something that was clearly wasn't.

Because, of course, that was the point. By associating his event with the earlier march on Washington, Beck was trying to provoke normal people into a response that would send his followers swaddling themselves in the cloth of false victimization. It was as disgustingly cynical a moment in our history as I'd ever hope to see, and my only solace in it is that Beck can't make himself any more noble by trying to redefine Dr. King's legacy just as last weekend didn't make Dr. King a posthumous douchebag.

Actually, it's not fair to call Beck that, those have at least known the touch of a woman...

Heh. Two corgis.

Bro sent me this link (via Warming Glow) of two corgis on a treadmill. Awwwww, the left one's a fluffie!



This almost makes me forget yesterday when Mr. Monty, in his anxiousness to run in for dinner, ran over my bare foot and slashed me with his short-but-motherfucking-sharp claws leaving a wound resembling the one on Simon Le Bon's neck in the Hungry Like The Wolf video (and no, I'm not linking to that oh fine here).

I want to be kind to Ken Mehlman...

And while I understand the righteous anger of all the commenters in this article I think we should applaud him for this, because the sooner we can get all the closet cases out of the Republican Party and let 'em know it's all good, the happier we'll all be.

So, so true...

...what Mr. Jaquith wrote about Perriello's meeting with The Tea Party yesterday.

When I told bro about this his response was "So, did he give them a bill for his brother's cut gas line?"

Robert's gonna Hurt jobs in our district.

Reading this article was very depressing (and not just for the doofy comments) because it illustrates the challenge Perriello is going to face with his message and the intellectual dishonesty of the Hurt campaign.

As much as it may be true, "it could have been a lot worse" is not a great political slogan. And as much as the congressman has done to help our district with projects like the Cane Creek Centre and Monogram Snack Foods in Martinsville, and the Robertson Bridge, all these small projects that are making a real difference are being drowned out by the shouts of "socialism".

I think it's only fair to point out that all of these projects are in sections of our district that are not expected to break for Perriello.

And Robert Hurt needs to answer the question, if you think the stimulus is so horrible, which of these projects should be cut? And not in the way his spokesman tries to crapweasel his way out of it:

When asked whether Hurt supported any of the local projects, such as the Robertson Bridge, Harrison said there “may be projects in the 5th District that are worthy of federal funding, but they shouldn’t require a trillion dollars of additional debt and hundreds of millions in other wasteful government spending projects to get them done.”

Perhaps the state senator can spending a little time reading about these projects and the difference they're making in between offering his opinions on Cordoba House and ducking debates.

Kevin McDonald is the funniest Kid in the Hall.

This is a fact, not a value judgment. So the AV Club's Random Roles feature on Kevin is a must-read. I love that the "Don't Put Salt In Your Eyes" sketch is based on fact.

And here's another one of his brilliant sketches and one of my personal faves.

Dammit, Madsen, that "Bust The Pro" t-shirt was mine!

Playing a Full Tilt $5 KO tourney, and Jeff Madsen's at our table. Not really playing, though, he was in instafold mode and then started pushing randomly. I wake up with pocket jacks when he tries it again, and he turns over 6-9 of diamonds...and hits the straight. And I hit the bottle...

That's poker, and idiots like me get the anguish they deserve for playing it.

Someone want to remind Robert Hurt where he lives?

I'll give him points for honesty; it's clear Hurt wants to talk about anything except the 5th District.

Still, it takes a special kind of balls to claim the congressman should be focusing on jobs and then asking about the Cordoba Center in the exact same press release.

Of course, if Hurt chose to attend debates or even read the news, he would have known the Congressman voted for 439 jobs in this district not too long ago.

I also can't wait to hear Sen. Hurt's opinions about unicorns and leprechauns...

Because we all know the country's being overrun with anchor babies, as immigrant mothers throw themselves on their backs on the border in the last stages of labor so that with one mighty push they can propel their newborns onto American soil.

But credit where credit's due, at least Senator Hurt seems more enlightened then his Republican brethren and isn't so quick to scribble a Sharpie over the Constitution.

It's just that with his quick comments on this issue and Cordoba House, I can't help but wonder if he plans on offering ideas to create jobs for the constituents in the district he ostensibly hopes to represent. If only there were some sort of forum for him to present these ideas...

8 Bits O' Nevsky - Adrien Brody-lookin' Japanese sheep-man edition

And sometimes, the subject lines just write themselves. I have no fucking idea what's going on in this game, but I want it...

LEAVE HOWARD ALONE!!!!

I think what Dean said about the Cordoba Center was dead wrong, period.

Nonetheless, it seems to me that for some reason a lot of blogs are enjoying piling on, and I can't go for that. Because Dr. Dean will always be to me the guy who had the balls to say in 2003 what everyone else was saying in 2006.

And referring to that link, how does Dean's faux pas prove that he shouldn't have been Secretary of HHS? C'mon, this is the administration with Joe futhermucking Biden (and I love the guy)...

Blogging burgers bloopers bosoms...

Just after my blog post about Five Guys, our local weekly just finished its annual poll of favorite places and in a surprising upset (in my opinion), Five Guys was denied its repeat win by our local joint Boylan Heights. And I can't say I disagree; I don't get there too often because it's usually packed with UVA students, but when I've gone, it's been deeeeeee-licious.

It occurs to me that given my recent posts the four people who read this blog would think I do nothing but stuff burgers down my gullet all day. I'll have you know that with my exhausting regimen I've dropped twenty pounds in just this past month, and as this photo will attest, I've never looked better.

Good one, Tom...

Via Blue Virginia, Congressman Perriello has a new ad up. This one hits hard and has a killer punchline...

Hoping against hope sanity prevails...

I'd like to think this Time article is the walking back against the Cordoba House hysteria I was wishing for, but I won't hold my breath.

I was pleased, however, to see our congressman refusing to take the bait and addressing the controversy for what it is, an attempt at distracting the voters from the real issues in our district.

Mmmmm, mmmmm, that IS a tasty burger!

Sis sent me this link as Five Guys managed to beat out In n' Out for the best burger in America according to Zagat. As a resident of the East Coast and having frequented the three Five Guys locations in Charlottesville, that's a tough but reasonable call. I'd certainly understand it if In n' Outers (giggle)were puking their guts up at the injustice; on a recent trip to Vegas with the sibs we all made a special trip to experience the mouth-watering glory of the double-double, and we were not disappointed. And given the choice between the two, I'd pick In n' Out for lunch. The burgers are a close enough call but only In n' Out has strawberry shakes. And they're damn good.

Still, I not much of a meat-eater (giggle); once a week tops. And when the boo-boo and I have burgers for dinner, more often than not I make 'em at home. Two ingredients: fresh ground meat from The Organic Butcher and a little seasoned salt. I don't sully the meat with Worchestershire sauce or eggs. I'm making hamburgers, not no goddamn Egg McMuffins.

And while I emulate Five Guys with my home burgers, here's how to make your own double-double.

Dammit, I made myself hungry.

8 Bits O' Nevsky - Just buy this now edition...

Look, I'll make this quick. The World Ends With You is on sale for $15 at Amazon today. It is the single best DS game, period. So go buy it.

Shut up. Buy it now.

Heh. Corgis.

Bro sent me this video; nothing much more to say about it, except that for some reason our own Monty never seemed to take to the water...

Wow, we all just love getting played, don't we?

Never mind the bigotry of past generations, you'd think everyone would have learned the lessons of Shirley Sherrod a few weeks back. Just because a bunch of right-wingers start beating their chests about something doesn't mean we have to listen...and good on Mayor Bloomberg and the Prez for not caving in.

Goddammit, Best Buy sucks...

So I finally get a new monitor after the old one gives out, as there's an Acer monitor for sale, $99. And I ask the guy if it matters that my computer's as old as dirt and runs Windows XP, and he goes "no, no, just change the resolution"...

So of course, the best resolution here is 1024 x 768, which looks like ass, and I try to download a driver for the monitor, and surprise! No driver for Windows XP.

What really sucks is I like the monitor better than the computer...

Update: And of course, ten minutes after posting this I figure it out. I take it back...

Dear Warner Bros., just take my goddamn money already...

The new Looney Tunes discs came out this week and my response was the same I used to have to the Golden Collections magnified: strong desire for what should have been.

I've blogged in years past when one of the new Golden Collections were released, and despite having all six (sigh, yes, I know) and getting a whole lot of use of them, I found the haphazard nature of the collections frustrating. Every collection had a few gems, more than a few clunkers, and the WB trope of devoting a disc to a special theme ruined a bit of the magic through repetition. Seeing ALL the Speedy Gonzalez cartoons one right after the other really brings to light the recycled gags. I get, he knows everybody's sister in the sleepy Mexican hamlet. And by "knows" I mean "screws". Wait, getting off the point...

So while the new single discs seem a bit chintzy to me they do have the advantage of being focused on Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck. But once again, I have to deal with the absences. No "Racketeer Rabbit"? No "Captain Hareblower"? For the love of Elmer what the hell do I have to do to get these?

And to cap it all off, there's the ridiculously vague feather-across-the-taint pricktease announcement that a Looney Tunes Blu-Ray is forthcoming. Which brings me to the subject line. Just release 'em all, or at the very least release are the cartoons in a certain period so I KNOW WHAT ELSE I'LL NEED TO BUY. The six Golden Collections together were about $300 and represented about half of the total oeuvre. So tack on a twenty percent asshole tax and let's be done with it. You don't have THAT long to milk nerds, soon it'll all be the cloud. I'm telling you right now, WB, get on it.

And then, fully satiated with my Blu-Rays, I'll be nice and docile while you rape my childhood.

Credit where credit's due to Congressman Perriello...

...from The Roanoke Times.

Incumbents generally have little to gain in debating lesser-known challengers, and sometimes contrive to avoid them altogether. Perriello has not done that, and instead has agreed to terms more favorable to his Republican opponent.

He might have acted on principle or out of necessity, as a first-term Democrat in a conservative district. Either way, he did what was right for voters.

Cue complaints about the Roanoke Times being a liberal rag in five...four...three...

Holy shit, Russia really is on fucking fire...

Mrs. Nevskaya has been following very closely the events this past week in Moscow and showed me this very chilling clip about a group of volunteers who were trying to get back home (starts about a minute in)...

Two candidates for our rep aren't afraid to face their constituents...and Robert Hurt ain't one of them.

Tom Perriello and Jeffrey Clark faced off in the first VA-5 debate, and Robert Hurt (surprise, surprise!) chickened out. It's the first time in the debate's history (since 1996) this has happened.

Hey, Hurt won the Repub primary without debating, so maybe it was a savvy political move. But let's not pretend that he's going to "restore" accountability to Congress. Our district has already contributed more than its fair share of that...

Robert Hurt: Anti-jobs, anti-truth.

Thanks to our congressman for voting to save teachers' jobs here in Virginia. As he says, this bill is a no-brainer, so of course Robert Hurt is against it.

But it would be nice if in Hurt's opposition he could simply tell the truth, I see three whoppers right in the article without looking too hard. 1) The stimulus bill was under a trillion, 2) the stimulus bill saved and created 3 million jobs while tax cuts twice as expensive as the stimulus didn't do jack, and 3) the jobs bill the Congressman voted for didn't add a single penny to the deficit. Hurt knows that. Or at least he SHOULD know that, I'll freely admit that he could just be an idiot instead of a liar.

But either way, it looks like Hurt is simply going to be a puppet for Boehner rather than looking out for the needs of his constituents.

Why such a hardon for teachers, Repubs?

You can't even vote for a fucking jobs bill? And then you'll have the balls to turn around and complain Obama's not doing enough for jobs? What the fuck's the matter with you, really? How can this be even controversial? I realize I'm not contributing anything but ranting, but we may as well argue about the sun being hot...

If you're looking for something substantial, read Digby...

8 Bits O' Nevsky - Lobster Claw edition

I have nothing but praise for BlazBlue; adrenaline-pumping action, odd (to say the least) but memorable characters, fantastic animation, all wrapped up in a hardcore sensibility that makes the geek in me swoon...but the game does illustrate a horrible flaw with the PS3.

Namely, the d-pad on the controller sucks dick, balls, and shit. Even the Wii Classic Controller does a good enough job on Tatsunoko vs. Capcom, but on the PS3 controller a simple quarter-circle, necessary on any move stronger than a slight breeze, registers about a quarter of the time despite your thumb tendons ripping apart at the seams with the effort. A few hours on BlazBlue and it looks like the PS3 controller is intent on finishing the job ten years of repetitive office work has started on my hands.

Given the game's insistence that you memorize elaborate combos in order to have a chance in hell (OK, there's a beginner's mode but I would sooner go full teatard than use it), I've actually given thought to the purchase of a fighting stick. Normally, I would have called such a purchase a display of opulence on the order of a gold-plated yacht, but I figure now that a purchase like this will allow me a few more precious years before I need to go on disability. My buddy (similarly addicted to BlazBlue) got the Hori Fighting Stick and likes it; it's surprisingly big but it certainly works. Combos were easier and it was ergonomically pleasing, it also brought me back to those nostalgic days when people used to play in these ancient meeting halls called "ar-cades". And at fifty bucks it seems reasonable considering some other options. I'll continue to shop but if there are any recommendations from any other gamers out there please feel free to add your comments.

Die in a fire, Associated Press...

Seeing this fucking article just burns me up, especially the headline: House members scurry back to pass jobs bill. Ho, ho, using the word "scurry" adds to the image of Congress as vermin, I see what you did there! Never mind that this is a bill to fund jobs for teachers and first-responders that would have been lost if the bill didn't pass. Never mind that the reason this session had to be called because the Senate Republicans ruthlessly filibustered the bill. Ask the people whose jobs this bill will save what they think.

And what's the most galling is that the Repubs knew damn well that there is no political loss for this delaying tactics. The Dems could either call the bluff and let these jobs be lost to prove the point, or they can act like grownups and still get shit like this article.

I'd say if anyone in the modern press or the Republican caucus had any sense of honor left they quit their jobs and devote themselves to doing something more useful, like throwing themselves into a woodchipper for horse feed.

You never go full teatard...



Once again, bro comes through with a winning design, suitable for wearing at your next casual function...

As always, feel free to check out the full range of designs available at our Cafepress store, Geek 3000...

You can't spell, "Christ, CNN is full of frickin' morons" without "CNN"...

I stopped blogging for a while to help my blood pressure, and it's shit like this that made me quit.

This is the goddamn headline, I'm not kidding.

--
Small biz jobs bill: FAIL
--

I know times are tough for news services, but do you have to let the copywriter's 8-year-old Mountain Dew-addled nephew write the headlines?

And it's the same "views differ on the shape of the earth" bullshit that misses the point completely. The small business bill isn't passing because of "Washington gridlock", it's Washington OBSTRUCTION. It's Republicans making sure nothing gets improved because they're going to run on the idea that nothing's improving. They make no fucking bones about it. Waiting for the media to call them on this is like waiting for motherfucking Godot...

Robert Hurt US Congress: Anti-Reality

Hurt was meeting the Lynchburg Tea Party in a closed event, presumably part of his avoiding-debate strategy, but someone did manage to get in and hear what he had to say, and it seems he's gone the full bibble-bibble-oatbran.

"Joke" about abolishing the IRS. Check.

Getting rid of health care reform? Check.

And let's see what fellow nut Jim McKelvey says he's going to do: "Robert has promised to work to cut or eliminate funding to government agencies which have no constitutional basis for existence". Check. No, wait, what? Is that English?

I would have hoped that tinfoil-hat-conspiracies and Underpants-Gnomes-economics would have gone the way of Dubya, but it looks like Hurt understands the way to woo the hard right is to ditch any and all hints of moderation. Way to go.

Personally, I'd rather have the grownup for a rep...

TIMMMMMMMMMMM-ber.
We've had some nasty violent storms these past couple of days; a tree just fell down the street from us a few houses away. Fortunately, no one was hurt and no damage. At least the power stayed up this time around...

(and here's the subject line reference, last gag)...

It was the President's birthday today! But really, no matter what the occasion...

...you can always count on the Republican Party to be childish fucking assholes.

Tell Rush Limbaugh to get off my balls, it's 2010 not 1864...

For all the yelling the teabaggers do about the Constitution, they don't seem to have a problem rewriting the parts they don't like...

Maybe after Repubs are done with the 14th they can reinstitute that whole three-fifths thing.

And if you found this post just to be a cheap excuse to use the subject line, hello, my regular reader!

Is "I don't want you to ask me questions, but vote for me anyway" a valid campaign slogan?

It seems to be Robert Hurt's (it does beat the other one, "HURT U.S. CONGRESS"; seriously, no one on your staff noticed that?). Oh sure, he'll meet with fringe groups behind close doors, but he's backing out of more debates even though I'd be shocked if nutball Jeffrey Clark gets more than 10% of a poll.

I guess Hurt doesn't want to take the chance of dealing with an extremist right-winger. Oh sure, I can't blame him, but if that's going to bother you you're really running in the wrong district.

Despite what the audience said, Primus definitely do not suck.

An excellent concert with a great choice of songs that stuck pretty much with Frizzle Fry and Seas of Cheese (and a surprise pick of Golden Boy, which I love but had no expectation of hearing).

Other high points: Pudding, Mud, and Tommy. Notable absences: John, Jerry, and Wynona.

And Gogol Bordello was also awesome though I couldn't give you a single song title. Really, every song I've heard from them on disc doesn't come close to replicating the awesome energy of their live performances. This is a band I'd pretty much recommend to absolutely anybody to see live.

Just call me Aloysius Devadander Abercrombie (that's long for Mud)...

Bro and sis are down in gorgeous Charlottesville to catch the Primus/Gogol Bordello show tonight, which, according to mathematical equations, must at least be awesome...

8 Bits O' Nevsky - Impulse Control edition

With the arrival of BlazBlue this week and Metroid: Other M already on pre-order from Amazon and due to arrive at the end of August, I'm going to do my best to go the whole month without actually buying anything new. So this blog is about the games I'm going to miss.

* The DS is the go-to unit for old-school RPGs, so all the retro gamers are going nuts over Dragon Quest IX. And this series, somehow, missed me completely, so I'm not really hit with the retro pangs. Final Fantasy III and Chrono Trigger were already disappointments anyway. Actually, The World Ends With You pretty much killed any tolerance I had for turn-based combat and random encounters by being the single best fucking game on the DS, and maybe this entire console generation.

* Didn't buy Starcraft II. Probably won't. I don't know why I missed both of them, probably because my haphazard computer ownership meant at the time the first one came out I didn't have a machine capable of running it. Even though I really don't desire either game, I do consider not having played them a character flaw...

* The Nintendo 3DS may actually come out this holiday season, but...oh, who the fuck am I kidding? I am SO buying the shit out of that.

Robert Hurt: Pro-fringe, Anti-accountability

I think this illustrates the difference between our current congressman, Tom Perriello, and his opponent, Robert "HURT U.S. CONGRESS! It's in his name, people!" Hurt.

The Congressman is going to conduct twenty town hall meetings all over the district in August.

Hurt is going to meet the Lynchburg Tea Party in an event closed to the media.

I don't think it is the least bit partisan to say that Congressman Perriello has been a welcome change from Virgil Goode in terms of accessibility and constituent service. It would be nice to hear his opponents acknowledge this as well.

Ten hottest Dr. Who companions? Well, he's close.

But the answer is (in chronological order): Dodo, Jo, Sarah Jane, Leela, 1st Romana, Peri, Rose, Captain Jack, Martha, Amy.

And to the commenters in that article who bemoaned the absence of Nyssa and Tegan, well, maybe if they changed their clothes once in a while they'd be higher up the list...

You can't argue with results...but you can certainly try to hide them.

And it seems that's what McDonnell is doing...

The sad thing is the way things are looking in November this is probably going to work...

This is why memory is kind, or, "Nice hair, Glenn..."

This article on the Squeeze reunion led me to reminisce about one of my fave albums from my high school years, Cosi Fan Tutti Frutti, which I realize is considered an aberration by Squeeze fans but was the only one of theirs I really liked (the next one was OK but my interest quickly faded). I remember being taken in by "Hits of The Year" once on MTV and immediately running out to get the cassette.

So once again, foregoing my rule, I sought out the video. Holy fucking shit.



The hair, the dancing (I hope the boys are taking the piss here), the stock footage. There are more bad choices in this video than my entire time in college. And I'm including the clothes.

Once I clean my eyes with limestone and salt, I'll be quick to re-download the album. I still love that song.

But let this be a lesson to all of you looking to re-experience the pleasant memories you associate with childhood. DON'T!