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30 October 2004

Let's all go to the movies, let's all go to the movies...

This is the weekend of the annual Virginia Film Festival, one of the reasons I love Charlottesville so much. It's our eighth or ninth festival and they're always worthwhile, we've seen Sigourney Weaver (tall), Larry Flynt (short), and listened to Roger Ebert give a workshop on "The Birds" (interesting). This year the guest of honor was Sandra Bullock, but we'd have to watch "Speed" again to see her, so screw that...

Yesterday we caught Days of Heaven, Terence Malick's film about watching flies fuck, no wait, that's just what the film felt like. We also saw Birth, which may be the absolutely oddest film I've ever seen. I'm not saying don't see it, but...it's creepy. We can discuss (and spoil) the film in the comments section if you like.

28 October 2004

Why won't Virgil Goode speak?

My daily commute usually affords me the time to listen to NPR's "Morning Edition". The local news break has been devoted to Virginia congressional candidates over the past week, and I learned that Al Weed was interviewed briefly yesterday, which I missed. Today was the day they were supposed to talk to Virgil Goode, but he refused repeated requests for an interview (their words).

Perhaps VA-5 constituents should e-mail Mr. Goode and politely ask why he's such an unbelievable pussy.

26 October 2004

OK kids, let's leave the signs alone...

Unfortunately, the local Dem office said they were out of Kerry/Edwards signs, so I can't replace the one I had stolen (we put a Kerry sticker on our still surviving Al Weed sign). While sauntering w/the doggie, I noticed on our main thoroughfare (a couple of blocks away from my house) the shreds of two Bush/Cheney signs that were torn up and empty spaces on the lawns where they used to be placed. I can't say I was too pleased. I understand that the action sprouted from righteous anger and a desperate desire for justice, as opposed to what happened to us, which came from page 67 of Gestapo Tactics for Dummies, but these sorts of things just don't help. The last thing I want to do is give Bush supporters justifiable reasons for their laughable martyrdom:

"See how hard it is to live in a liberal town? And just this past week my luxury SUV was dented by this homeless guy I hit! Why do bad things always happen to me?"

I'm also, of course, assuming they didn't rip up their own signs, something to which we know Bush supporters have stooped.

But just in case, lay off the signs, people. We'll win because we have the truth on our side.

24 October 2004

*sniff* God bless the Des Moines Register...

Go read their eloquent endorsement of John Kerry...

22 October 2004

No, no, no. You throw WATER on a witch, WATER...

I don't condone actions like these against anyone, no matter how hateful and divisive Ann Coulter's rhetoric might be.

OK, I lied. I wholeheartedly condone this particular action (these WERE pies, remember); it couldn't have happened to a nicer person.
Definition: Fulcrum (sounds like the title of a Radiohead album, doesn't it?)

1. the point or support on which a lever pivots.
2. Charles 2's kickass blog...

20 October 2004

Corrupt Virginia Republican Scumbag Daily Report

Via Atrios, I learned from this website that Virginia Republican Congresspeople have received over $70K from Tom Delay. And $5K of that went to VA-5's disgrace, Virgil Goode. Time to send polite but firm e-mails asking them to shove that dirty money back up Delay's cornhole...

Perhaps a little more polite...

19 October 2004

Now they fucking tell us, part 572...

Great. Drinking a lot of coffee leads to heart inflammation. I'm guessing ten cups a day is considered a lot...

Man, I'm upset. I need to calm myself. Ahhhhh, a nice cup of coffee....AAGGGGGHHHHHH! MY HEART!!!
Ooh, ooh! VA-5 election news!

The next debate between challenger Al Weed (D) and nimrod Virgil Goode (Really doesn't deserve to be congressman) will take place on WVTF in Virginia tonight at 7:30. In case you're interested (and please post about it if you do hear it, because I'm not sure I will).
"Now kids, this is a loofah..." OH MY GOD GET HIM OUT OF HERE!!!

Let's all shed a tear for puffy, splotchy bully Bill O'Reilly. He's cancelling his tour to plug his kids' book because of those sexual harrassment charges.

I read the deposition on Smoking Gun, but you don't want to see it. Believe me, you don't. Frankly, it's only seriously depraved as opposed to full-blown wacko, but it's made all the worse with the mental pictures. So trust me.

Instead, say "puffy splotchy bully Bill O'Reilly" fast ten times. Lots more fun and wholesome...
Pootie-Poot's got his snoot up Dubya's patoot...

Putin and Bush do seem to have a lot in common; they're both height-challenged despots who've proven to be totally incapable and incompetent when it comes to fighting terrorism.

We can now add one more thing, they both want Bush to win to November.

Yawn.

17 October 2004

No point in my going on, really...

My brother just started a new blog, lighthearted mental sewage, which will no doubt start taking my blog around and pimping it out to other blogs in exchange for cigarettes.

In the blog world, 6thdoctor is the star, and I am the satellite (but that's all right)*...


*Morrissey
"Roy's Keen"
Maladjusted
Mercury Records
Theories:
#1: Bush is retarded.
#2: Bush thinks we're retarded.
#3: #1 & #2 are true.

Perhaps Bush is from a different solar system, and the yellow sun provides him with the superpower of being able to shamelessly lie with a straight face:
President Bush turned is turning the tables on Sen. John Kerry, declaring "the best way to avoid the draft is to vote for me," and pledged to oppose mandatory military service.


There's already been excellent material put out in the Kos community by eagle-eyed posters who called bullshit on Bush, and my wife and I actually did a little something out of character by printing up copies of the PDF flyer (available in the Kos link above) and putting them up in our pedestrian mall area. If people insist on voting for Bush, they should at least be aware about what it will mean to our young men and women...
Wow, they ARE desperate...or at least drunk.

I was still a little foggy in the ol' noggin this morning, as I lovingly strapped the Gentle Leader on the corgi and set off on our traditional Sunday constitutional/ paper run, but I did notice the Kerry/Edwards sign seemed to be missing from the front lawn. My first thought was that I must have moved it while doing lawn work...then I realized I don't do lawn work.

Then I noticed the Kerry/Edwards sign was missing from our neighbor's house across the street.

As I walked down our avenue, which used to be liberally (lame pun intended) sprinkled with lawn signs touting Democratic candidates, it dawned on me how bare the street looked. Even the Firefighters for Kerry sign had been removed from house #201. The only Dem signs that seemed to survive was a Kerry/Edwards sign ensconced by its owners in a hedge on their front lawn, and our Al Weed sign, which was only visible coming down off the main road but hidden by our tree if one were coming the other way.

The cognitive dissonance is still a little hard to shake. Maybe we just had a strong wind that knocked down 95% of the Kerry signs (the lone Bush-Cheney sign on our street is still standing). But since there's even a woman complaining about the theft of her Kerry sign on the cover of today's Washington Post, and this isn't the first time something like this happened in our area, this seems to be the logical result of college Republicans (we live right by the University of Virginia) and beer.

15 October 2004

The new, improved 2 + 2 = 5! Now with LiveMessage Alerts!

That's right! If you look at the little orange box underneath the archives, you can now sign up for LiveMessage Alerts!

Utilizing the latest in MessageCast technology, 2 + 2 = 5 is proud to give you, the audience, the orgasmic wonderfulness of LiveMessage Alerts!

Yessirree Bob...LiveMessage Alerts...

OK, I'm not entirely sure what LiveMessage Alerts are, but the guy who e-mailed me asking if I want to beta test this seemed very nice. I filled out the form the same way I used to solve Myst puzzles ("well, this looks like it should go here...hey, it works!")

So if anyone actually signs up for this, feel free to explain to me what it is, and don't be afraid to dumb it down.

14 October 2004

It looks like Democrats are stomping the shit, snot, and piss out of Republicans in debates everywhere...

Anyone who lives in Charlottesville, VA will probably tell you that the Daily Progress is a partisan rag for the barely literate.

So it says a lot that in this recap of the VA-5 debate, Al Weed gets most of the good lines. Probably means they could have included twice the lines if they wanted to...

13 October 2004

3-0...

And it wasn't even close. AGAIN.

And in the "Guess Bush's persona" contest, the answer was "petulant child", chosen by everyone except me!

I'd love it if someone put together a montage of the uncomfortable chuckling, the smirking, the hemming and hawing, and the non-answering. Poor ol' boring John Kerry, all he could do was be competent.

No need to engage Republican spinmesters, just mutter "three and oh" and walk away...

Which George W. Bush will we see tonight?

In the first debate, he was a flaky mediocrity, and in the second debate, he was a raving lunatic. Given his predilection for mood swings, his probable intake of various controlled substances, and significant handler input, your guess is as good as mine as to which persona he'll adopt tonight.

I'm going to go with: ambivalent cheese shop manager. Thoughts?

11 October 2004

Who needs fulfillment, happiness, and a strong moral center when you have shopping?

The Sunday Washington Post pointed me to the shopping experience that is Woot. They sell one thing a day at an outrageously low price. Go look at it, but be prepared to put your real life on hold for a while (thank God I don't have one)...
R.I.P., Superman...

I've got a confession to make, I always kinda liked III and IV...well, parts of them.

Dangerfield, Derrida, and Reeve. They do happen in threes...

09 October 2004

I will always remember how you confused the shit out of me...

Jacques Derrida passed away...or DID he?
Man, what an asshole...

These thoughts come to you courtesy of Boboli-pizza-induced insomnia...

* If Howard Dean acted exactly the same way Prez Nimrod did during that debate, with the yelling and flailing and the near bumrushing of Charlie Gibson, do you think his performance would have been called passionate?

* Bush mentioned Dean, Cheney mentioned Dean. Stop it. In the novel Martin Eden, some upper-class yobbo derides Herbert Spencer and the protagonist responds, "Hearing that name pass your lips is like finding a dewdrop in a cesspool." It applies here too.

* Kerry was able to disagree with the woman who asked the pro-life question while maintaining respect for the woman's position. Bush answered the anti-Patriot Act question like a five-year-old with his hand caught in the cookie jar...

* Kerry was stuck for a loooooooooong time on that stem cell question...

08 October 2004

People actually feel SAFE with this guy in charge?

The general early consensus seems to be draw, though I thought it was another solid Kerry performance. People seem to be giving Bush points for doing better than last time, which is a little bit silly to me, but fine. Pat Buchanan on MSNBC was creaming his jeans over what he called Bush's "energy", which made me think he'd been hitting the happy sauce. For the first fifteen minutes I thought Dubya was obnoxious; yelling, hunched over, arms akimbo, what some called "energetic" and "vigoorous" I thought was just frickin' maniacal. I just keep finding it hard to believe people actually like this asshole (who, by the way, is still a loser)...

And correct me if I am wrong, but did Bush promise not to appoint any judges involved in the Dred Scott decision to the Supreme Court? Was he coked up??
Anyone want to take bets?

We're about to head out to watch the 2nd debate w/friends. What interests me is how the media are going to spin a tie. I can't believe that Bush is going to pull the shitter that was the first debate. But I predict this with glee, since I've been so amazingly inaccurate in my predictions to date I'm expecting MSNBC to hire me as a pundit any day now...

07 October 2004

Let's take a break from talking about how Kerry's going to slap a bit and bridle on Bush and ride him around like a pony at a fair for a second 'cause I need your advice...

Should I buy the latest R.E.M. album?

I'm leaning towards no, and it's rather painful, since I've owned all the other albums in one form or the other (yep, even Chronic Town and Dead Letter Office. Eponymous, too.) I actually thought Up was one of their best, but Reveal is one of those albums that my brain tells me is good, yet I rarely listen to it. Beat a Drum is a wonderful, beautiful song, but I have to get through the borefest of All the Way to Reno, She Just Wants to Be, and Disappear before I hit the creamy center. Leaving New York is casually brilliant, but it doesn't sound that different to me, and my wife hasn't liked them since New Adventures. Now that I've name-dropped and linked half their albums, anyone want to offer their opinion?

05 October 2004

RIP, Rodney.

You've got my respect.
Does anyone else really want to fuck John Edwards right now?

Man, that guy is charming...

I think Edwards did a good job, he did what he needed to do, introduce himself to the voters. I think he made a positive impression and more than held his own against Cheney. Cheney seemed to get extra power from that ring he borrowed from Sauron and provided Fox News with a lot of wingnut porn, but I don't see how he got a single fence-sitter to swing over to the Repub side. Now it's on to Friday. Is the over/under on Bush inappropriately smirking in the three-digit range?
Well, maybe the newly installed Smile Nanites will cause the Cheneybot to malfunction...

I'm going to watch the veep debate tonight, but I can hardly bring myself to care about this one. First of all, I find it hard to believe anyone truly gives a rat's tush about veeps; "you're no Jack Kennedy" was fun, but that didn't get Dukakis elected. Secondly, I think this'll be a wash. Cheney will be evil and attack Kerry hard, Edwards will reasonably push Cheney back and make viewers comfortable with the idea that he can be VP, and the spinners will spin furiously. Friday's going to be the big one, cause with the town hall format that could be car-crasheriffic...

04 October 2004

So sad...

I got this from Atrios, watch it.

The sad thing is that the Repubs obviously don't believe what they're saying, or they would've nominated someone competent...

03 October 2004

Bush is a corgi? BUSH IS A CORGI?!?

My brother was reading The Family last weekend and informed me that on page 617 someone compares Dubya to a corgi, because he's nippy and irritable...

Eat me, Kitty Kelley. Corgis are bright, happy, love hard work and are winners...


Besides, my Monty would have been a much better president than Dubya; I'm pretty sure he could have gotten UN support on Iraq sanctions WITHOUT rushing our country to war...

02 October 2004

A public service for any art student whose weekend homework assignment is to draw a picture of a loser...just copy this! Posted by Hello

01 October 2004

Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to present Losey McLoserton and his All-Loser Orchestra!

The more I think about Kerry's decisive victory last night, the more I like it. But what is even making wingnuts temporarily honest was Bush's horrible performance. He was clearly unprepared and flustered, and as the night went on you could see it in the body language. My favorite part of the debate (I hope they showed it on the Daily Show) was Dubya sulking off stage; when he noticed Kerry was standing in the middle of the stage he started to stick around, but Laura pulled him off while Kerry, tall and proud, was waving happily to his supporters. Spin THAT, a**hole.

I wish Kerry did a couple of extra things, though. He needed to shove that "mixed messages" crappo back up Bush's cornhole. There was no reason he couldn't say "I think it's a mixed message when you say things are going well on the campaign trail when your OWN INTERNAL DOCUMENTS say otherwise". I also would have liked Kerry to comment about all the hard work Bush is supposedly doing; if the job's too hard for Dubya, I'm sure his daddy can find him a nice easy one in a few months.