My one-word review for the Kindle Fire? Prettydamngood.

As I was waiting obnoxiously for my Kindle Fire yesterday, I remarked to my siblings that I was expecting "not quite an iPad, but better than just a big Android phone". My tech-loving friend whose Fire is due to arrive today also commented (my paraphrase) that he wasn't expecting an iPad but something good for $300 less than an iPad.

And by both of these standards, I can very readily recommend the Kindle Fire.

It's very sleek and surprisingly solid. It's got a bit of heft to it that I actually like but might be a little tiring to some. I've seen reviews with people complaining about lag, but I don't think our home wifi connection is anything special, and web surfing and streaming have been pretty zippy. Netflix, Pandora, and Amazon Cloud playing have been surprisingly nice, given that the cloud player on our laptop is a little on the slow side.

My biggest annoyance right now has been after downloading the Wired and New Yorker apps, I've been unable to sync up my subscriptions even after following the steps laid out in the app screens (and my username/password combos work fine online). I've got my e-mails into Conde Nast customer service right now because dammit, I want my instant gratification!

Also, the main screen, which shows stuff in the order you've used it, is a bit cluttery to me. They've got a little bar on the top where you can separate your content into books/videos/music/apps etc., but it seems like the front could be more clean.

And if you're not already a Prime Member, I'd strongly recommend it. Right now, it means an extra free viewing library that's decidely mediocre and unlimited cloud storage, but I find it hard to believe they won't be throwing more stuff up there in the coming months.

Looking forward to playing with this!

Vote, baby, vote!

And a happy election day to you all! The happiest thing to me is that I won't have to hear those goddamn Bryce Reeves/Edd Houck commercials on the radio anymore. It's not even my district!

State senator and state reps are foregone conclusions; based upon my interactions with candidates as well as the opinions of people whom I love, trust, and are smarter than me to a person, here was my ballot:

City Council: Smith, Collins, Fenwick
School Board: Kadija, McKee, Blount, Neale

I'm not linking or endorsing because I want these guys to win, AND I CAN'T HELP.

I'm gonna call it...Herman Cain will be the 2012 Republican nominee for President.

What happened? A new harrassment accuser has come forward...and she has hired Gloria Allred.

The only way this could have helped Cain more is if the unnamed woman had hired Nancy Pelosi. With this feminist icon to rail against, Cain is going to surf a tidal wave of outrage-and-false-victimization-fueled donations straight over Mitt's coif to victory!

Even Cain's campaign manager (does he have one?) can't fuck this up. The solicitation e-mail should be out by noon.

Another edition of "Things I Wish I Had Written"...

There's a reason bloggers everywhere want to have Charles P. Pierce's babies:

--
I don't think it's too strident to demand at this point that David Brooks be hauled up before a jury consisting of everyone else in America and forced to defend himself against several million counts of being an insufferable twat in a public place.
--

Just go read the whole brilliant thing.

Must...not...make...raising..Cain...joke...

I was amused by all the talk of the leak to Politico being a grand liberal plot; after all, the timeline and the subject matter screamed either Rove or Perry.

But after he's played a whole bunch of cards, including "liberal media" and "I'm the victim", I'm starting to think that this was just the thing Cain needed to capture the Republican nomination. What more do Repubs want than to get all warm and snuggly in a blanket of fake outrage?

The only thing is Dem ops usually aren't this clever...I'd love to be wrong, though.

Well, it can't make politics more of a circus...

I thought we were done with this guy. But he's running for governor.

And he's a libertarian. Of course he is.

But at least we can sell some more t-shirts out of this...

OK, now I'm starting to get a little nervous...

I think the best guarantee for Obama's reelection at this point is that there are really no viable opposition candidates. So the fact that they've found their most charismatic to date is a little cause for concern...

And after they all get together and pass the jobs bill, they can ride away on the rainbow-farting unicorns...

I'll freely admit I have no idea who this Daniel Gross guy is, but I think it's cute how he thinks the weak jobs report will spur legislators to action, as if the Republicans are interesting in doing anything except making sure the economy stays shitty so they can blame Obama for it.

Back to the doughnuts, Chrissypoo...

I'm not quite sure why Christiemania lasted so long; oh, I understand that no Republican wants Mitt Romney, but Christie would have crashed and burned on a .5 Trump scale. And the fact that he wasn't a complete asshole 100% of the time meant he was doomed in the Republican primary anyway.

So onto...maybe Fred Thompson should try again?

Oh, sweet, sweet, nerdgasm...

The new announcement of the Kindle Fire has just sent me all ashudder with quivering want. I don't even know everything it does yet, I just see "iPad for a third of the price". I've said it before, but I'M NOT MADE OF STONE, PEOPLE! DON'T YOU JUDGE ME!

I want this item, in all its Jetsonsesque glory, in my hands so that I may more easily forget about the plight of the suffering of the world around me...

On second thought, feel free to judge me.

Wow, Krugman even kinda likes it?

Good enough for me. Now to start calling my congressman...

And maybe we should sent this book to Hurt, just in case...

As if a million nerds cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced...

Allow me to join the outrage that Lucas is fucking with Jedi on the Blu-Ray re-release, and on perhaps the single most iconic scene within that movie. I really don't care so much about the other changes, and making Yoda CGI in Phantom Menace is actually an improvement, but no, I don't want these movies, and Lucas just saved me ninety bucks.

Looking at some of the extras, it's amazing to me how much Lucas has deteriorated as a screenwriter and filmmaker. For example, there's this deleted scene from Revenge of the Sith, as Obi-Wan discovers that Anakin has turned and has been forced by Yoda to confront him...


OBI-WAN KENOBI
I beg of you, Master Yoda, let me fight the Emperor, please don't send me to fight Anakin.

YODA
Sorry, Obi-Wan, but too strong the Emperor is...

OBI-WAN
Master...

YODA
Make you his bitch he would...

OBI-WAN
What?

YODA
Pussy you are. See how Force you my bitch makes...

OBI-WAN
OUCH, OW! HEY, STOP IT!

YODA
Hitting yourself cease, hitting yourself cease...

OBI-WAN
Fine, you made your point...

YODA
Afraid I am that Force you fully comprehend not. So blow me you must.

OBI-WAN
Oh no bloody fuckin' way, mateUUUUURRRRRRRRPPPPP!

YODA
Through the Force a Jedi's strength flows, just as down your esophagus my load will soon flow. Yes, yes, teeth you use not...
--

Well, the dialogue ends there, but the scene goes on for eight more minutes. I think we can all agree that Lucas really needs to stop his self-indulgence.

Check out Inessa Telefus on the radio today!

I would be horribly remiss if I didn't mention how the gorgeous and brilliant Inessa would be sharing her insights on the "Speaking Forward" program today at 2. The webpage has a "Listen Live" link on the right so you can stream it. A perfect warm-up to your tailgating party!

How DARE he talk about jobs! The nerve...

And let's not pretend this scheduling kerfluffle is about anything more than sticking it to the prez.

Chr*st, don't you just want to smash Boehner's face with a shovel? IT CAN'T JUST BE ME...

Can we please stop having earthquakes?

I slept through this one; my wife said "we just had another earthquake!" and I was like "you mean another aftershock?" and she was like "NO. An earthquake!"

And I can't wait for the next round of interminable mocking from the West Coast. "Ooooooh, that was what, a 4.5? We use THOSE earthquakes to get the salt off the top shelf in the pantry! When those hit, we stick our hands down our pants and let the earth serve as a natural vibrator!"

Hope everyone's fine...

...it was just a li'l rumble. In my office, people didn't start freaking out until after it was over.

I call this piece "A Walk in the Woods"...

"Ah, isn't it great just to get out, away from it all?"
"As long as we're back in time for the game..."
"Oh, boy! Look at this, a buttercup! Who likes butter? Do youuuuuu? Do you like butter?"
"OK, OK, stop it, you're sticking it in my eye. Take it down a notch will you?"
"WOW! I didn't know this grew down here! It's banana-bamboo!"
"What the hell's that?"
"Here, I'll break off a piece. Now, let me just get my penknife. Notice how quickly the wood is formed into a razor-sharp point? And if you just poke..."
"DAAAAAAH! HOLY JESUS! YOU JUST STABBED ME! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?"
"Ha ha! You said, 'ow!' That means you like bananas!"
"No, that means you stabbed me through the leg, you fucking dick! And...holy shit, my leg's going numb! What the...what did you do? I'm...getting cold."
"Yeah, that's something, the wood has an oil that is also a natural neurotoxin, helps protect it against weevils. Isn't it great how nature does that? OH MY WORD, I don't believe it! Tickle-thistles! You know, if you take the flowers, grind them in a mortar and pestle and add just enough water to form a cement-like paste which you then use to plug somebody's mouth and nostrils, and they twitch, it means they're ticklish! Good thing I brought my mortar and pestle with me!"
"Insane...you're insane...must get away...too slow...numb...scared..."
"Come on, this is fun! Oh, stop squirming! Oh oh, I know who's ticklish now! Yep, it's certainly nice to just take a moment to reflect on some of Nature's most fantastic creations! OK, let's get back, the game's going to start soon...hey, why aren't you moving? C'mon, let's get going! Coochee coochee coo..."

Double shocked, shocked, I tell you...

I didn't find anything really "surprising" about these findings at all beyond the framing of the headline. I mean, atheists are hated? What did they ever do to anybody?

But after reading this sentence:

--
"[Tea Party members] are overwhelmingly white, but even compared to other white Republicans, they had a low regard for immigrants and blacks long before Barack Obama was president, and they still do"...
--

All I could think was this:

At the Downtown Mall for lunch? Say hi to our congressman!

That's right, Rep. Hurt is actually going to be out in public today, from 12 to 1:30.

And good for him for being there. Seriously. I mean, I don't think he's been anywhere near as good as his predecessor in terms of performance or constituent service, but I certainly won't fault him for presenting himself to his constituents. And I hope the people of Charlottesville come out to politely discuss their ideas with him...

Thanks, Sarah!

It's been two days since I've written on this blog, so thanks for giving me subject matter by being stupid and annoying!

It's even more cute that some people think the truth matters...

...as the New York Times here. Of course, in the real world their proposed compromise would make a lot of sense (let the middle class tax break continue until the end of 2013, let the upper bracket cuts expire now). But we know that there is no way in holy hell the Repubs are going to strike any sort of deal and will be more than happy to put the onus on Obama to let the whole thing expire.

Which is, of course, exactly what he should do. But as long as one side is more than happy to threaten the country with an economic meltdown, like it or not, they're always going to have Obama over a barrel. I hope the manic progressives realize that the reason we're having these problems isn't because Obama hasn't been eating his Wheaties, it's because THE TEA PARTY IS FUCKING INSANE.

Awwww, the Tea Party's so cute when it's trying not to sound idiotic.

This unbalanced article has some more of the usual idiocies from Hurt and no real information about how the job situation in our district is being completely ignored by him, so I'm just going to skip to the bottom of the article where the Tea Party tries to pretend they matter:

--
Danville Tea Party Chairman Darriel Burnett said he did not like an increase to the debt ceiling.

...But now that the debt limit has been raised he hopes that other leaders in Congress push toward decreased spending, otherwise the group will throw its support elsewhere.

“If they think the Tea Party is upset now,” said Burnett. “Just wait.”
--

Just so you know, you're never going to beat Hurt with a challenge from the right. Ever. I think even Hurt knows that.

Because they'll never ever do it again...er, not until the next time...

Well, the manufactured crisis has been averted, yay. And before the manic progressives get in a tizzy, the choices were a shitty settlement or total economic meltdown. Left with that, I'm glad we went with the former. But Barry O.'s always going to be over a barrel when one side's ready to blow everything up. If you got a problem with that, well, you should have voted last year.

This DOES leave me wondering, however, how is the Tea Party going to react to our own congressdoofus, Robert Hurt, voting yes on the debt bill? Will they hiss, and rage, and scream and cry because they wanted to eat their Sam's Club Dehydrated Rations in their survivalist bunkers? Will we have the opportunity to taste their sweet, sweet tears? Or will they show themselves to be the useful idiots Hurt obviously thinks they are?

C'mon, guys, what're you going to do? Make those signs! Sputter incoherently on street corners! Wear those goofy costumes!

Today's news, in sonnet. (Impending doom edition.)

Our world is coming to an end
'cause the Repubs are insane.
What made them go so 'round the bend?
Let's listen to Mr. Caine.

Goodbye, Amy. What a voice.
And I must say, what a waste.
Wonder if you get a choice
along with that first showbiz taste.

To our next ex-congressman
I say good riddance, and what nerve.
Couldn't have picked a worse time when
you showed us you're such a perv.

So the world ends. Well, I'll say
at least there won't be Michael Bay.

For all the good it's going to do, I did it anyway...

Yep, called Robert Hurt's office again to tell the congressman to stop wasting the American people's time with these ridiculous balanced budget amendment votes. Just like before, the aide was polite and spent an inordinate amount of time getting my address right, so you may as well call, since they don't seem interested in starting arguments.

I did note in my call that I understood that the congressman's line may have been inundated with Tea Party calls but that they were probably disproportionately large compared to the makeup of his district. Given the congressman's not-always-lovey-dovey relationship with the 'baggers, it might be something to mention.

Hope these guys don't get to Monty...

As odd as it may be for someone on the Internet to write this, I'm going to keep it in my pants.

Libs are already all excited about getting angry about the Obama-Orange Goblin deal, but I'm adopting a "wait and see and may as well start the squat thrusts in preparation for what's to come" attitude.

A few things are going to be certain if a deal is struck: a) firebaggers won't like it; b) teabaggers won't like it; c) the media will not point out that Republicans brought the entire financial world to a panic over what used to be a basic procedural vote and d) Obama will come out of it as the only grown-up in the room.

And as much as I can understand the libs' frustration over d), I say thank fucking Christ there's a grown-up left in Washington.

Well, it's official...our congressman is an idiot.

And apparently proud of it.

His predecessor took a lot of tough votes that actually did some good and created jobs in our district but paid a political price for it. This joker seems to be content to wank off the Tea Party and waste everyone's time with a bill that will never become law.

I'd like to think he'd be ashamed of this charade, but judging from what I could stomach to read from that press release, he's not. So here's a book you can send him...

If our society has to end, at least let it end with a Cantor smackdown...

I've got no problem with Obama shoving it right back in Cantor's oh-so-punchable face.

At the same time, I have no idea how it's going to play out. Will the corporate overlords eventually yank Cantor's leash back and tell him to behave, or has he gone all in with the teatards?

All I know, is if Glenn Beck can make a buck off the crazies, why can't I? So please tell your idiot neighbors to come here and click on the link below so they can stock up their survival bunkers!

You know we're fucked, right?

I mean, if it's true that Eric Cantor has veto power over the debt deal, we may as well stock up on iodine pills now.

It's not simply that he's a hyperpartisan and an idiot, it's that he has financial interest in the U.S.'s economic collapse.

Needless to say, when we're scurrying out gathering roots to take back to our basement bunkers, someone will mention that Obama should have been a better negotiator...

Slouching towards idiocracy...

It seems that the Republican plan to make sure nothing gets done so they can run on Obama getting nothing done is working, and the truly sad thing is they're not getting called on it. I've argued so many times with my liberal friends about Obama that I may as well repeat it here, how the fuck do you negotiate on an economic deal when one side is perfectly willing to let the country go to shit to "prove a point"? Especially when the Repubs can just as easily blame Obama for it?

Just back from vacay and a little wiped...

...so let's just make this another edition of what John Cole said.

--
And anyone who still calls themselves a Republican is just an asshole. Really, you’ve had ample time to figure out your party is run by maniacs. If you’re still sticking around because the “Democrats are worse” or you think the party can turn it around or because you fancy yourself a small “c” conservative or you are a glibertarian or because you hate taxes or you think Dennis Kucinich is weird (he is), you’re just an asshole. And incredibly stupid.
--

It is a little harsh but...no, wait, I take that back, it's fine.

Don't worry Michelle, I'll help you out...

It seems you're having trouble with your campaign songs, with Tom Petty and Katrina...er, Waves getting all huffy just because you're taking their songs without permission.

I've found a song for you. I think it fits the tone of your campaign quite nicely, and the singer's no longer with us, so you don't have to worry about lawyers.

8 Bits O' Nevsky - Shut Up And Take My Money Edition

I've complained in the past that some of the most beautiful and interesting-looking Wii games have yet to be released in the US despite my nerdly cravings. And not unlike Sting's castaway protagonist in "Message In A Bottle", it seems I'm not alone in being alone. Operation Rainfall is a new movement designed to get Nintendo to release three JRPGs for the Wii in the U.S., giving us fans one last gasp before the Wii U comes out.

And although my other post on this referred to The Last Story, the first focus in OpRain's campaign is Xenoblade Chronicles, and the way they've gone about is particularly fun, by preordering the game (as the then working-title Monado) on Amazon to the point where it enjoyed a brief run as the #1 game sold.

After seeing this clip, I was convinced:



Let's face it, I bought Final Fantasy XIII, a game that really has only looks going for it, and this is just as beautiful, has free-roaming, a combat system where you actually do something besides pushing the X button over and over and use flanking tactics to boot. So I happily preordered. Ball's in your court, Nintendo.

And if you're interested in getting some good games out for the Wii as well, feel free to check Operation Rainfall's blog and click on the Amazon link below...

Hey, Cole, you got some balls there talking about Palin that way...

You've got nerve to insinuate that she would just up and quit something once it was no longer the focus of media attention or remuneration of said activity wasn't immediately obvious.

Better watch yourself there, buddy...

You better run...

Kudos to all those who participated in the Charlottesville Men's Four-Miler today! You're all definitely more hardcore than me!

I mean that literally. I was all set to run this race, but in the morning I made the executive decision to bag it. Why? It was raining. Sorry, I like running, don't like running in the rain, and didn't see the need to prove the point.

And thanks to all the guys in C-Ville today, I didn't have to!

Here's a clip for all of you who went out there today...

Now that I've run my first 5K, I'm made some dietary adjustments as well...

Of course, Sarah, you never mess up...

If one actually bothered to read my posts from years past, and unless you're me, I hope you wouldn't, a recurring comment I used to make about Dubya was that it never bothered me that he was an idiot, I wasn't even entirely sure that he was an idiot, but what really pissed me off was his insistence on talking to you as if YOU were the idiot.

In the same vein, I didn't really think too much about Palin's Paul Revere word salad. She might have been tired, it might have been hot, she might have taken an extra Sudafed or something, so what? That doesn't bother me, people make mistakes.

But her Nathan-Thurmesque refusal to cop to it is really f***ing childish...

Run fatboy run...

As I've alluded to in the past, in the ongoing efforts to not die as quickly as I might I went back on the ol' diet and exercise regimen. My efforts culminated in the completion of my first 5K, as I ran in the "4 The Wounded" race held at UVa's Research Park yesterday.

As someone who went through the "From Couch to 5K" program in spirit but not in detail, I had a few go-to sources to keep inspired. #1? Definitely check out the Facebook pages of your insanely-intense Facebook friends. I had two out of my modest stash who I could always count on to promote the latest regimen or diet tip, or mention their latest accomplishment. They were more than happy to respond whenever I had a question about a sticking point as well.

My second source? Rocky III. Never failed to pump me up. The music, the great lines ("the worst thing that could happen to a fighter happened to you. You got civilzed.") And of course, the scene where Sly and Carl Weathers frolic together on the beach in shallow surf. Oh, that scene...

Sorry, lost my train of thought...

Things That Make Me Want To Die (non-heat edition)

Maybe the awful, stifling mid-90s weather has just magnified my inherent despair, but seeing that Trump and Palin had pizza and held a meeting of the Insufferable Ego-Maniacal Charlatans didn't make chuckle as such a meeting normally would. No, more of a "why can't there be a Rapture when you REALLY want one" sort of feeling...

Cup of coffee in the big time...

Going through some old youtubes of Macho Man promos, this one sticks out. Truly, we lost a genius...

I'm sure God called you early because She needs you to drop the Big Elbow on evildoers...

I'm really getting sick and fucking tired of bits of my childhood dying. RIP, Macho Man.

It's especially tragic because unlike many of his peers, and even in the case of the lovely Elizabeth, drugs apparently only played a peripheral part of his passing.

I remember coming to school after WrestleMania III; although the main event was the iconic Hogan/Andre battle, everyone at school was talking about Savage/Steamboat. The match has a bit of an inflated reputation (the Flair/Steamboat matches of '89 put it to shame), but it still holds up as an exciting match between two awesome workers.

More local business fluffery...

Because great businesses run by nice people should always be promoted, I give you, Quinn's Barbecue, the new operation run by the faboo owners of the Horse & Hound Gastropub, one of my favorite C-Ville eateries.

Keep them in mind for your next function...

Today's news, in sonnet.

All that shit and Trump's not running?
Who will be our racist jerk?
Ah, for that spot Newt is gunning.
C'mon, Romney, get to work!

Huckabee is out as well?
Damn you Michael, straight to hell!
You might think privacy's swell,
but some of us have shirts to sell!

Hawking says no afterlife
And we will all just die some day
Relax, Christians, stop the strife
What's he, some smart guy, anyway?

Hey nerds, PSN is working!
Let's wipe our hands and stop the jerking!

The video description says it's a border collie...

...but I knows me a corgi when I see one.

Of course Palin's going to have a problem with a guy who goes by the name Common Sense...

I don't really have the energy to deal with Palin's race-baiting bullshit, except to say that anyone with even a passing knowledge of Common's work sees the ridiculousness of the complaints. Of course, to the right-wing base any rapper who's not Will Smith equals N.W.A.

Which is why I think the next MC Obama invites to the White House should be Dead Mike:

Another reason Sarah Palin really, really sucks.

Really, you've got a problem with Common? Haters just gotta hate, I guess.

I didn't realize ordering Navy SEALs to shoot a guy in the eye was pussyfooting, but hey, that's why I was never governor of Alaska...

I think ol' Sarah's finally jumped the shark with this tweet...

Holy fuck, bin Laden's dead...

Last night, I turned in early as we had a long ride back from the Tribeca Film Festival. Mrs. came in to bed a couple of hours later...

"Honey, did you see the news?"
"Hmm?"
"They killed bin Laden."
"thatsnicehoneygoodnight..."

And so when I checked the news this morning, it was just like the subject line. So while that fucker's roasting in hell, I relished Americans coming together, even the most partisan adversaries cheering as one. Naturally, I mean Phillies and Mets fans.


And if this has the added bonus of getting Trump to shut the fuck up, then this is truly the most accomplished administration in Presidential history.

Duckie's ducking again...

Our current congressman promised to be as accessible as his predecessor had been. A tall order, since Congressman Perriello held the most town hall meetings of any member of the previous Congress, but I had expected at the very least some sort of effort, at least for show.

Nope, not a bit. Not a single one scheduled.

Seriously, what is the congressman afraid of? This? This? I doubt he'd have to deal with this, so as Gordon Ramsay would say, find your bollocks and get out there.

Hey, C-Ville poker players!

As a public service, if you haven't heard about the Cavaliers Against Cancer charity tournament, it's going to be at the John Paul Jones Arena on Saturday, May 7. Registration ends on Saturday, so click on this link to learn more and register.

And remember, it's for charity, so there's no reason to be mad when I knock yer ass out...

I heartily endorse this event and/or product.

Because, corgis.

And I don't want to spoil the ending, but it involves corgis.

Our new congressman in a nutshell...

100 days of this joker...

A loud buzz fills the room in the Longworth congressional building as a set of seemingly random numbers lights up on the black-and-white clock face behind him.

“You might think that I know what that means, but I have no clue,” Hurt deadpans as he looks straight ahead.

Just something to keep in mind next time you call him about an issue...

Shouldn't teabaggers be angry about this?

I mean, Robert Hurt did vote along with Nancy Pelosi. Doesn't that get them all petulant and whiny?

Stay classy, George...

I mean, Jesus Christ...

At least Macacawitz said "sorry if I offended", which is better than the classic non-apology "sorry if you were offended", but could have just as easily been plain old "sorry".

*sigh* Eighteen more months of this nimrod...

Well, balanced the budget. It took me all of five minutes but I did it.

Here are my choices.

Of course, left to my own druthers, might have done things differently. I posted a long time ago that I thought the payroll tax cap was bullshit (I'll find the link and add it when I get the chance).

EDIT: Wow, did this back in 2005.

But whatever my plan's faults, I'd put that up against Ryan's idiocy any day.

SECOND EDIT: Also, given the choice, I would have taxed capital gains at the same rate as ordinary income. I'm not sure why speculators and hedge fund execs shouldn't be privy to the same tax rates as the rest of us.

JPA Bridge commiseration thread...

OK, it's one day in so far and as a JPA Extended resident I'm ready to officially declare this a big ol' pain in the ass.

The obvious choice for a detour was Shamrock Road, but since a crew is working on THAT road as well, it just made the new commute all the more interminable.

So how are you changing your commute?

Tell the Donald to come forward...

Why won't he reveal his real birth certificate?

Of course it's ridiculous, but hey, I think his ass should be deported for his shitty blackjack...

The Tea Party's upset about something. Shocking.

Waldo Jaquith documents the local TPers latest hissy fit over their congressman, first that he's not working hard enough to cut government spending (yeah, good luck with that, guys) and second and more humorously, they're not being treated deferentially enough:

“When we did this at [Rep. Tom] Perriello’s office, he always had a representative to come down and listen to us,” said Don Woodsmall. “And no Hurt representative down here today? I’ve got to tell you, I’m severely disappointed.”

note: The quote is from the Daily Progress article; find it via Mr. Jaquith's post, 'cause I'm not linking to that rag's website until I make sure my malware checker's up to date.

It's fair to say I'm no big fan of Hurt, and I've yet to see him in an unscripted moment (including his congressional debates) which made me wonder if he fully grasped even the basic tenets of the issue being discussed, but if this was an actual snub and not just mere incompetence, then he's just done the first thing I can fully support.

Because what has the Tea Party done to deserve this sense of entitlement? And more importantly, what could they do if Hurt tells them to go cram it with walnuts? Are they going to vote Democratic? Yeah, right. Are they going to mount a successful primary challenge? Let's see them try to break double digits first. Is someone going to step up and make a third-party run? My sides, they split.

So why shouldn't Hurt just treat TPers like useful idiots? He's going to vote for a compromise if that's what Boehner cries for, period. If that causes them to petulantly sit out the next election with a collective pout and thumb up its ass, well, who knows what shape the district will take in 2 years?

In other news, better bloggers are better. (Libya edition)

There's already enough misinformed blog posts about Libya from both sides of the political spectrum (as well as misinformed congressmen). I'll just link to Juan Cole and leave it at that.

8 Bits O' Nevsky - Impulse Control Redux Edition

As you can see to your right, Amazon's offering videogame deals in its Gold Box all day. The bastards.

Dead Space 2 will be coming up later in the evening, and as I've suggested previously, it's a purchase for me if the price is right. I'M NOT MADE OF STONE, PEOPLE!

This really happened today...

Driving up Hydraulic Road heading towards the airport, I noticed the usual bunch protesting outside of Planned Parenthood, with the normal obnoxious signs. Being who I am and also reasonably safe from any immediate repercussions, my first impulse, naturally, was to flip them the bird. And so, I did.

"Why did you do that, Daddy?"

Oh wait, that's right, my four-year-old daughter was in the car too.

"Daddy...was waving."
"Waving at who?"
"Oh, I thought I saw someone from work, but it wasn't him."
"That's silly! You're silly, Daddy!"
"Yeah, Daddy's a little embarrassed..."
"It was nice that you waved at him."
"Thanks, honey."

Whew. Gotta watch those impulses...

Well, three games into the NCAA tournament...

...and my brackets are already shot to shit. F***ing Temple...

Hey, we all fuck up from time to time...

...but it takes a special kind of person to be a total fucking jackass about it. Rep. Michelle Bachman is that sort of person.

Thank heavens I live on the opposite coast of In-N-Out burger, because I'm pretty sure by now I'd be dead.

I try to be good, I try so, so hard.

I had my homemade breakfast smoothie.

I've got my baby carrots next to me.

I'm even skipping my morning coffee in favor of cleansing water.

And then I read this. And now I feel like weeping.

Allen's got a tough road ahead if he wants to blow this one.

The latest PPP poll has Allen leading the Virginia Senate Republican primary with 67% of the vote, and none of his teabaggin' opponents make it out of single digits.

But if Allen showed me anything in 2006, he showed me he can pull defeat from the jaws of victory. But still, this isn't a mere 25-point lead that can be wiped out with a ridiculous racial slur. This is going to take every little bit of Allen's incompetence to make this cakewalk the slightest bit competitive. I still have hope that Felix can pull it off.

If you can't get it done by yourself, George, don't worry, Tim or Tom will take care of it.

Dawwwww, he looks so cute trampling hooligans and cosmopolites...

The votes are in, and here's the li'l guy repping the Sochi 2014 Olympics (there are four others, but they suck).

This guy, however, is so adorable that I'm sure millions of fans won't even notice the tracking devices placed in each can of Coke by the FSB as they gulp it down.

And c'mon guys, it's not like we can talk...

It looks like the nearest rally is in Richmond...

...so if you want to show your support for workers and the middle class, that's the place to do it.

Hope the weather's nice...

RIP, Brigadier...

Hearing the news of Mr. Courtney's passing made me sad. And I'm assuming it will sadden two of my three regular readers...

Let the Felix slapfighting commence...

Just like the two ham-n-eggers that would square off in the intro match of those 80s Madison Square Garden WWF cards, Georgieboy and some Tea Partier are getting ready to going at it for the honor of losing to Kaine or Perriello, and the TPer scores the first punch.

Meh, might be good for a laugh, at least...

8 Bits O' Nevsky - You Bloody Bastards Edition

Videogame nerds around the world have been shocked and amazed by this videogame trailer. The fact that it is shocking and amazing might have something to do with that.

It's amazing how the music and presentation (which I won't spoil) makes what at first may seem to be derivative B-game material so poignant and heartbreaking. And as a parent of a four-year-old girl, I deserve credit for not losing my shit. Until the end.

So watch this and hate me the way I now hate my friend for showing this to me. Bastard.

Another Westminster show...and the corgi gets hosed again.

Some non-corgi won the Westminster Dog show yesterday, once again illustrating the club's rampant anti-corgi bias. I mean, 4th in the herding group? How blatant can you be?

C'mon, man! Corgis! Just look at the cute li'l dickens!

Really, why not Tom Perriello?

After all, according to a Republican poll, he's already beating Allen (copious grains of salt apply, natch).

And this is before the race has even started. Personally, I'd put my money on the guy who barely lost the race he should have lost by 20 points over the guy who barely lost the race he should have won by 20 points.

And after watching Perriello crush Hurt over and over again in his debates, the thought of him going up against Georgie boy makes me want to invest in a new popcorn popper. Bring. it. on.

No, really, fuck Valentine's Day.

I mean, seriously. Fuck it.


Annual Valentine's Day Stoning Of Happy Couple Held

Damn, these li'l geniuses are cool...

Mrs. thought it would be cool to take the li'l one to the cybernetics competition at U-Hall today because, hey, robots. It was pretty nifty watching these teams of high school students with their robots navigating the course, but it wasn't until I heard my wife say to my daughter "these are like the robots that go on Mars" that it hit me how fucking awesome these kids are. Dare I say it, it made me proud to be an American. And if it manages to inspire the nipper, all the better.

Wow, that was quick.

But when it comes to drafting Perriello for Senate, quick ain't fast enough.

Senator Perriello, is that too much to ask?

Balloon Juice just reported that Jim Webb isn't going to seek re-election, which provides our commonwealth the opportunity to correct a horrible, horrible mistake that our district made.

Because really, if Tom, in this political climate, can get within 3 points in a congressional district that by all rights he should have lost by 15, he can probably beat a teabagger statewide in an election year, or better yet, George Allen, who would divide the Repubs more than they'd probably care to admit.

Hey, it's time to get excited about politics again!

Another reason to buy WahooQ sauce besides the fact that it's so damned delicious.

I love Charlottesville, just love it. One of the many things I love is that you unwittingly get to know and rub shoulders with so many local successes (for example, the Mrs. is good friends with the owners of the Horse & Hound Gastropub).

A couple of weeks back at my local poker game I noticed the hosts had a bottle of WahooQ sauce on their counter; I had just purchased a bottle myself as a gift and noted that it was really tasty. Turns out one of our players makes the stuff.

So don't just buy WahooQ because it would make a plate of steamed assholes taste good. Buy it because the owner's a real nice guy too.

You can get it at the Organic Butcher or Relay Foods.

The best part of the Super Bowl is the commercials...

3. There might have been more clever/more interesting/funnier ones than this one, but in terms of expectations at the beginning to payoff at the end, this scored the highest for me.

Besides, I can't resist a puerile cheap joke.



2. Sometimes things hit the popular consciousness and you think to yourself, what the hell is WRONG with people. Not in this case, though, this one's just adorable.



1. Not quite as funny as the winner two years back, but I'll admit, I just laughed and laughed at this one (maybe because the actor also reminded me of a friend of mine).

Those that doubt Deadwood is awesome suck cock by choice...

I noticed that the deal of the day on Amazon is the complete Deadwood set, so if you were thinking of buying it anyway, why not click on the link to the right and give a friendly ol' local blogger a cut?

But really, this post is just a cheap excuse to embed video of the greatest fight ever in the history of television.

Hey, it's a more reliable source than Drudge...

The Onion comes through again. I laughed pretty hard, once I picked myself up off the ground from the weeping jag that came from the underlying truth of the piece.

Oh good, let's start the War on Caribou...

I don't blame Palin for closing her speaking engagements off to the media when she insists on saying stupid shit like this.

She admits that she "threw a little politics" into her recent TLC reality show by dragging the crew to the Alaska National Wildlife Refuge on the pretense of hunting caribou. Her real purpose? Showing viewers that ANWR is a "barren, desolate, less-than-pristine place"--perfect, in other words, for lots of new oil drilling. "If a caribou needs to be sacrificed for the sake of energy independence," she adds, "I say, 'Mr. Caribou, maybe you need to take one for the team.'"

This quote didn't get much play in the mainstream media, so in the interest of getting both sides of the story, I gave Mr. Caribou a call and reprint his comment on this statement in its entirety:

She said WHAT? Oh, how nice for her! Why not just have a somewhat coherent energy policy? Or better yet, stick an oil rig in HER backyard, see how she likes it. Tell her to kiss my antlers, oh, and her sham of a show illustrated her lack of understanding of basic hunter protocols (link attached) Whatever, I'm going to go frolic in the arctic steppes while you all waste away your lives as office drones! Later!

*sigh* Wish I was a caribou.

Random Atlantic City thoughts...

* I understand that the general narrative, as well as the consensus, is that AC is in even more trouble than it usually is, with the increased competition from Connecticut, Philadelphia, and now even Maryland. But I didn't find any of the places I visited depressing. That is to say, more depressing than it usually is, but as a native New Jerseyian, there's a part of that glum dilapidation that I enjoy, especially as you walk around the boardwalk on a cold winter's day contemplating life's mysteries as you watch the ocean. It's like you're in a Sopranos dream or the "Lonesome Day" video.


* I don't expect much from a place, honestly, just let me do my low-level grinding and pissing away of dough without breaking my balls. In that spirit, I highly recommend the Showboat poker room. The dealers (particularly David and Krista) and poker room boss Kellie were ridiculously friendly and allowed me to happily play away the hours, with pretty good cocktail (or in my case, coffee) service. Given the way some poker rooms operate, that's more than enough for me. If all you're looking for is 1-2 NL, 2-4 limit, or a daily tournament, well, I'd certainly recommend the Showboat over the Taj.

* And talking about that, the other place we spent a decent amount of time was the Taj Mahal, which had placards around advertising $1 blackjack. Seeing an open spot, I threw down a twenty, and was given a couple of dollars worth of quarters. I was planning on tipping more, but sure, let him give me some quarters I thought. After I put down my $2 bet the dealers pointed to a small circle to my left; the quarters are for the surcharge you have to pay for each bet below $5. Clearly, I didn't read the fine print.

Even more clearly, this is bullshit. I'm going to give you $50, Trump, why are you going to kick me in the balls to take $52? I know I'm a cheapskate, you don't have to nickel-and-dime me so ridiculously. And for the obvious "gamble somewhere else if you don't like it" comeback, well that's the fucking point. Besides, if it's so painful for you to have a $1 table don't frickin' advertise it. Having a bunch of $5 tables would have suit me just fine. Needless to say, I could hardly wait to get on the internet to express my outrage and warn my fellow grinders...

So...anybody, can I borrow a twenty? You know I'm good for it.

Back from vacation, and I see not much has changed.

Palin's still an idiot.

OK, kids, behave while the blogger's gone...

Heading up to Atlantic City for a couple of days with bro, and I can never go up there without thinking of Zero Mostel's exclamation in this clip (28 seconds in)...

Today's news, in sonnet.

Repub Congress throwing tantrums
instead of doing actual work?
Used to be the inner sanctums
where they'd hold the circle jerk.

Auntie Joan says Fox is hatin'
'cause she gave Sarah a peltin'.
Ask me, I think they're just waitin'
until they're sure Joan stops her meltin'.

No more Globes for Ricky G.?
Will this doom his film career?
You're telling me we'll never see
That Ghost Town sequel? Well, oh dear.

Not a sonnet to the letter?
Brother always did it better.

For what it's worth, you'll need to speak slooooooowly...

I called our congressman's office today to let him know I was against repeal. I was a little surprised the aide picked up the phone right away, as Mr. Perriello's lines were usually super-busy whenever a healthcare vote was scheduled. But the aide was polite, although it took him longer to note my address then for us to discuss repealing the Affordable Care Act. He simply noted I was against repeal and thanked me (after I had thanked him for his time).

If you'd like to let Rep. Hurt know your opinion before the vote, his # is (202) 225-4711.

8 Bits O' Nevsky - It's not faaaaaair edition...

I've been following semi-regularly developments on the Wii RPG The Last Story...



With its above-par-for-the-Wii graphics and action-based gameplay that resembled a multiplayer Demon's Souls, I was getting increasingly agitated, mostly in the pants region, while I was waiting to hear when it would be released in the U.S.

And the answer is, of course, that it isn't. Dammit. I haven't been this disappointed since the West was deprived Tingle's Rosey Rupeeland...

Way to stay classy, Maine...

I'm so disappointed in that gorgeous state for voting in this asshole.

But I'm not sure what's worse, being an asshole (because he could have kissed off the NAACP without being an asshole) or suggesting that because his son is black he has the right to be an asshole.

Don't believe me? Here's the quote...

When asked about the NAACP's criticism that this is part of a larger pattern, LePage replied: "Tell them to kiss my butt. If they want, they can look at my family picture. My son happens to be black, so they can do whatever they'd like about it."

What the fuck does that even mean?

Well, as much as I hate to do this, it's boycott time. I promise you I'm not going to drink one bottle of Moxie no matter how much I wish to savor its intricacies while this nutjob's guv. And I'm writing a letter to the delightful Tim Sample, I doubt he's going to stand for this.

Your move, asshole.

Here's a post for bro...

And unlike its author, I have no problem saying that despite everything, Colin Baker IS my favorite Doctor...

While we all take the time to process the events of this past weekend and reassess our own roles in the national discourse, we should also remember who the true victim is in all of this.

And of course, it's Sarah Palin.

I don't know why I thought that even this might have been a time where she would say something like "clearly we should all take a moment to reflect upon our rhetoric", which pretty much everyone has been saying (even li'l ol' me). Heaven forbid that even once she and her apologists not sharpen their rhetorical daggers and give the "I'm being unfairly blamed" strawman a few more stabs.

And needless to say, it's anti-Semitic for anyone to point out that her use of "blood libel" is charged, so let me just say that there's no doubt in my mind that her use of it is clearly NOT anti-Semitic. It is, like most of the things she says, woefully inaccurate and, perhaps accidentally (but who knows?) yet another opportunity to provoke a response about which she can respond with more false outrage and victimization.

*sigh* She's going to be our next president, isn't she?

It's hard to chill the fuck out...

When the teabaggers insist on being assholes...

My one-word review for Relay Foods? Fanfuckingtastic.

I kept driving by the Relay Foods truck on the way home from work, so we thought we'd sign up and give it a try. After doing that, I don't think we're going to be able to go back.

After a quick sign-up on the website, you basically plan out your shopping, pay for it by Sunday at midnight (or the day before the pick up day you want) and go to your drop-off place the following day. I arrived and the kind gent had everything ready for me in one of those plastic recycling tubs, with the dairy and meat products in a portable cooler. It took about five minutes to confirm everything and I was on the way.

The Mrs. was very impressed with the quality of the produce, which was one of the concerns that we had (actually, they did a much better job of picking stuff out than I ever do). I, of course, liked having another excuse to do something on the internet, and really appreciated the running total the website provides, since I never seem to keep under budget normally.

Any complaints? Not really, save the other customers who were tearing out of the Fry's Spring Beach Club parking lot as if they were rehearsing for CHiPs. It was a pretty fucking awesome experience, and one I'd definitely recommend to my fellow C-Ville residents.

Hopefully, we can all chill the fuck out a bit.

As the congresswoman recovers, and we mourn those who lost their lives, there's been enough spitting on the blogs. I'll just link to Rep. Grijalva's statement and leave it at that.

And I'll be sure to go back to blogging about stupid shit ASAP...

There are no words...

This is just horrible. Condolences Best hopes to her and her loved ones.

Just what is this world coming to?

Thank the heavens for rational nerds...

As we have a very persuasive argument here to not succumb to nerd-twitches and buy the Star Wars Blurays.

For me, argument #2 is the persuasive one, that in order to get the extras, you HAVE to buy The Complete Saga, and therefore, the prequels. I've always been very picky about the DVDs I purchase and value quality over quantity, eschewing impulse buys and only having things that I felt were accurate reflections of who I was as a person and of the artistic temperament of my soul.

You know, like The Ant and the Aardvark.
The Pink Panther and Friends Classic Cartoon Collection, Vol. 5: The Ant and the Aardvark

So thanks again, nerds, for talking me off the ledge. You truly are the guardians of all that is good in our society.

Sure, George, I'll take the broomstick. What's that, you want me to talk dirty, too? Fine. Um...it made no sense for Han to fire first! Ewoks are much cooler than Wookies! The concept of midichlorans ties in perfectly with the entire Jedi mythos!

I'm buying the Star Wars Blu-rays. And so are you. Let's all admit it now, we're part of the problem.

I saw Attack of the Clones in the theater. Twice. And defended it to friends. Surprisingly, they still are my friends.

Thanks, Blue Virginia, for depressing the shit out of me...

Our new congressman, again...



Sigh. Not that I think it's going to help, but I will be contacting the congressman to say I hope he votes against repealing the Affordable Care Act.

This post is true. Don't believe me? Ask my wife, Morgan Fairchild...

I didn't really feel like commenting too much about Michael Steele's obvious lie that War and Peace is his favorite novel, not even to cheaply remind readers I have a Russian lit degree.

I mean, it's true that this is part of the larger issue that no one except blogs tend to call Repubs on this shit, but it's not even that they're such brazen liars, it's that they're such bad liars. The pathological ability to spit out even the most obvious non-truths with a straight face is almost a requirement in the new Repub party, like they care about the deficit, so that a lie like Steele's is downright quaint.

But let's be honest, it's not like he scored points in that debate with that answer, when a more obvious applause-seeking choice would have been one of Coulter's obnoxious borderline-treason screeds. Heck, it's not even like the answer did lasting damage to the country like one of Palin's twit-twits about death panels, which of course, is now leading to actual deaths.

So I'm going to help. Mike, just FYI, if you're going to lie about reading a Tolstoy novel, pick Anna Karenina. The first line from the novel is its most famous quote:

"Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

But if you do manage to make it to the end of the novel, here's a quote that you might want to share with your Repub friends, and one that was my Facebook quote for a while (spoilers ahead):

"I shall go on in the same way...falling into angry discussions, expressing my opinions tactlessly; there will still be the same wall between the holy of holies of my soul and other people, even my wife; I shall still go on blaming her for my own terror, and being sorry for it; I shall still be as unable to understand with my reason why I pray, and I shall still go on praying; but my life now, my whole life apart from anything that can happen to me, every minute of it is no longer meaningless, as it was before, but it has an unquestionable meaning of the goodness which I have the power to put into it."

I wish it was Dinosaur Month...

When I picked up my kid from daycare, she told me this month was Dinosaur Month. Why can't it be dinosaur month at work? You'd go into work, and the dinosaur would be there and you'd get your coffee, and you'd be all "hey" and the dinosaur would be like "hi, good to see you, watch Glee last night?" and you'd say "no, missed it", and the dinosaur would say "too bad, it was a good one".

But that never happens, because it's not dinosaur month at work.

It's never dinosaur month at work.

Sigh.

The Nihilist Party ain't wastin' no time...

They are starting by voting to repeal the Affordable Care Act, no doubt the first of many votes designed to do nothing so they can run in 2012 on the premise that the president hasn't done anything.

I'm ready to call my congressman to let him know how I feel, but his congressional website isn't up yet. Mr. Hurt, you're replacing the hardest-working man in Congress, maybe you should get your shit together.

Russia is safe from the threats of businessmen, Boris, and bloggers...

As someone who spent two of his formative years in Russia during a formative time in its history, like many I've grown increasingly concerned with the excesses of the Putin regime, especially with friends and now family living there. Count me in with everyone else who considers the Khodorkovsky sentencing to be utter bullshit. It is really amazing how unforgivably brazen this travesty was; having grown up with only the vaguest ideas of how dissidents and poets were treated in the seventies, I had thought that the days of the show trial were long gone, naive me.

Boris Nemtsov was often mentioned in the 1990s by my friends and peers as a man who could lead the country someday. Here's an old clip I remember watching with friends cheering on as he causes fascist asshole Vladimir Zhirinovsky to lose his shit and start throwing water and glasses. I believe the catalyst was when Mr. Nemtsov, then-mayor of Nizhii-Novgorod, invited Vlad to come to his city so he could be cured of his VD...


Mr. Nemtsov was just arrested and sentenced to 15 days in jail for protesting "illegally". My Russian mat' was never my strong suit, but I'm pretty sure the verb for "to rape someone in prison until the victim's asshole could conceivably fit the Caucasus mountain range" is och'kovat'. I hope it's a verb Mr. Nemtsov doesn't hear...

Mrs. Nevskaya introduced me to the blogger top_lap back when Russia was on fucking fire. He achieved some (perhaps unwanted) fame when Putin answered one of his critical blog posts with his special brand of petulant dickishness that he normally reserves for legendary Russian rock stars. So when Mr. Lap's blog had been down a week or so ago, my wife and I feared the worst. It's up and running now, so I recommend you all give it a read (via google translate if you're not a Russian reader). It's crude, childish, and hilarious. In short, it's the blogger I aspire to be.

S novym godom!