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21 August 2011

I call this piece "A Walk in the Woods"...

"Ah, isn't it great just to get out, away from it all?"
"As long as we're back in time for the game..."
"Oh, boy! Look at this, a buttercup! Who likes butter? Do youuuuuu? Do you like butter?"
"OK, OK, stop it, you're sticking it in my eye. Take it down a notch will you?"
"WOW! I didn't know this grew down here! It's banana-bamboo!"
"What the hell's that?"
"Here, I'll break off a piece. Now, let me just get my penknife. Notice how quickly the wood is formed into a razor-sharp point? And if you just poke..."
"DAAAAAAH! HOLY JESUS! YOU JUST STABBED ME! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?"
"Ha ha! You said, 'ow!' That means you like bananas!"
"No, that means you stabbed me through the leg, you fucking dick! And...holy shit, my leg's going numb! What the...what did you do? I'm...getting cold."
"Yeah, that's something, the wood has an oil that is also a natural neurotoxin, helps protect it against weevils. Isn't it great how nature does that? OH MY WORD, I don't believe it! Tickle-thistles! You know, if you take the flowers, grind them in a mortar and pestle and add just enough water to form a cement-like paste which you then use to plug somebody's mouth and nostrils, and they twitch, it means they're ticklish! Good thing I brought my mortar and pestle with me!"
"Insane...you're insane...must get away...too slow...numb...scared..."
"Come on, this is fun! Oh, stop squirming! Oh oh, I know who's ticklish now! Yep, it's certainly nice to just take a moment to reflect on some of Nature's most fantastic creations! OK, let's get back, the game's going to start soon...hey, why aren't you moving? C'mon, let's get going! Coochee coochee coo..."

2 comments:

thomas said...

I thoroughly enjoyed this - thanks much!

nevsky42 said...

Why, thank you! Here's a post I did a while back in a similar vein...

http://nevsky.blogspot.com/2009/04/at-first-this-piece-was-called-being.html