Can we please stop having earthquakes?

I slept through this one; my wife said "we just had another earthquake!" and I was like "you mean another aftershock?" and she was like "NO. An earthquake!"

And I can't wait for the next round of interminable mocking from the West Coast. "Ooooooh, that was what, a 4.5? We use THOSE earthquakes to get the salt off the top shelf in the pantry! When those hit, we stick our hands down our pants and let the earth serve as a natural vibrator!"

Hope everyone's fine...

...it was just a li'l rumble. In my office, people didn't start freaking out until after it was over.

I call this piece "A Walk in the Woods"...

"Ah, isn't it great just to get out, away from it all?"
"As long as we're back in time for the game..."
"Oh, boy! Look at this, a buttercup! Who likes butter? Do youuuuuu? Do you like butter?"
"OK, OK, stop it, you're sticking it in my eye. Take it down a notch will you?"
"WOW! I didn't know this grew down here! It's banana-bamboo!"
"What the hell's that?"
"Here, I'll break off a piece. Now, let me just get my penknife. Notice how quickly the wood is formed into a razor-sharp point? And if you just poke..."
"DAAAAAAH! HOLY JESUS! YOU JUST STABBED ME! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?"
"Ha ha! You said, 'ow!' That means you like bananas!"
"No, that means you stabbed me through the leg, you fucking dick! And...holy shit, my leg's going numb! What the...what did you do? I'm...getting cold."
"Yeah, that's something, the wood has an oil that is also a natural neurotoxin, helps protect it against weevils. Isn't it great how nature does that? OH MY WORD, I don't believe it! Tickle-thistles! You know, if you take the flowers, grind them in a mortar and pestle and add just enough water to form a cement-like paste which you then use to plug somebody's mouth and nostrils, and they twitch, it means they're ticklish! Good thing I brought my mortar and pestle with me!"
"Insane...you're insane...must get away...too slow...numb...scared..."
"Come on, this is fun! Oh, stop squirming! Oh oh, I know who's ticklish now! Yep, it's certainly nice to just take a moment to reflect on some of Nature's most fantastic creations! OK, let's get back, the game's going to start soon...hey, why aren't you moving? C'mon, let's get going! Coochee coochee coo..."

Double shocked, shocked, I tell you...

I didn't find anything really "surprising" about these findings at all beyond the framing of the headline. I mean, atheists are hated? What did they ever do to anybody?

But after reading this sentence:

--
"[Tea Party members] are overwhelmingly white, but even compared to other white Republicans, they had a low regard for immigrants and blacks long before Barack Obama was president, and they still do"...
--

All I could think was this:

At the Downtown Mall for lunch? Say hi to our congressman!

That's right, Rep. Hurt is actually going to be out in public today, from 12 to 1:30.

And good for him for being there. Seriously. I mean, I don't think he's been anywhere near as good as his predecessor in terms of performance or constituent service, but I certainly won't fault him for presenting himself to his constituents. And I hope the people of Charlottesville come out to politely discuss their ideas with him...

Thanks, Sarah!

It's been two days since I've written on this blog, so thanks for giving me subject matter by being stupid and annoying!

It's even more cute that some people think the truth matters...

...as the New York Times here. Of course, in the real world their proposed compromise would make a lot of sense (let the middle class tax break continue until the end of 2013, let the upper bracket cuts expire now). But we know that there is no way in holy hell the Repubs are going to strike any sort of deal and will be more than happy to put the onus on Obama to let the whole thing expire.

Which is, of course, exactly what he should do. But as long as one side is more than happy to threaten the country with an economic meltdown, like it or not, they're always going to have Obama over a barrel. I hope the manic progressives realize that the reason we're having these problems isn't because Obama hasn't been eating his Wheaties, it's because THE TEA PARTY IS FUCKING INSANE.

Awwww, the Tea Party's so cute when it's trying not to sound idiotic.

This unbalanced article has some more of the usual idiocies from Hurt and no real information about how the job situation in our district is being completely ignored by him, so I'm just going to skip to the bottom of the article where the Tea Party tries to pretend they matter:

--
Danville Tea Party Chairman Darriel Burnett said he did not like an increase to the debt ceiling.

...But now that the debt limit has been raised he hopes that other leaders in Congress push toward decreased spending, otherwise the group will throw its support elsewhere.

“If they think the Tea Party is upset now,” said Burnett. “Just wait.”
--

Just so you know, you're never going to beat Hurt with a challenge from the right. Ever. I think even Hurt knows that.

Because they'll never ever do it again...er, not until the next time...

Well, the manufactured crisis has been averted, yay. And before the manic progressives get in a tizzy, the choices were a shitty settlement or total economic meltdown. Left with that, I'm glad we went with the former. But Barry O.'s always going to be over a barrel when one side's ready to blow everything up. If you got a problem with that, well, you should have voted last year.

This DOES leave me wondering, however, how is the Tea Party going to react to our own congressdoofus, Robert Hurt, voting yes on the debt bill? Will they hiss, and rage, and scream and cry because they wanted to eat their Sam's Club Dehydrated Rations in their survivalist bunkers? Will we have the opportunity to taste their sweet, sweet tears? Or will they show themselves to be the useful idiots Hurt obviously thinks they are?

C'mon, guys, what're you going to do? Make those signs! Sputter incoherently on street corners! Wear those goofy costumes!

Today's news, in sonnet. (Impending doom edition.)

Our world is coming to an end
'cause the Repubs are insane.
What made them go so 'round the bend?
Let's listen to Mr. Caine.

Goodbye, Amy. What a voice.
And I must say, what a waste.
Wonder if you get a choice
along with that first showbiz taste.

To our next ex-congressman
I say good riddance, and what nerve.
Couldn't have picked a worse time when
you showed us you're such a perv.

So the world ends. Well, I'll say
at least there won't be Michael Bay.

For all the good it's going to do, I did it anyway...

Yep, called Robert Hurt's office again to tell the congressman to stop wasting the American people's time with these ridiculous balanced budget amendment votes. Just like before, the aide was polite and spent an inordinate amount of time getting my address right, so you may as well call, since they don't seem interested in starting arguments.

I did note in my call that I understood that the congressman's line may have been inundated with Tea Party calls but that they were probably disproportionately large compared to the makeup of his district. Given the congressman's not-always-lovey-dovey relationship with the 'baggers, it might be something to mention.

Hope these guys don't get to Monty...

As odd as it may be for someone on the Internet to write this, I'm going to keep it in my pants.

Libs are already all excited about getting angry about the Obama-Orange Goblin deal, but I'm adopting a "wait and see and may as well start the squat thrusts in preparation for what's to come" attitude.

A few things are going to be certain if a deal is struck: a) firebaggers won't like it; b) teabaggers won't like it; c) the media will not point out that Republicans brought the entire financial world to a panic over what used to be a basic procedural vote and d) Obama will come out of it as the only grown-up in the room.

And as much as I can understand the libs' frustration over d), I say thank fucking Christ there's a grown-up left in Washington.

Well, it's official...our congressman is an idiot.

And apparently proud of it.

His predecessor took a lot of tough votes that actually did some good and created jobs in our district but paid a political price for it. This joker seems to be content to wank off the Tea Party and waste everyone's time with a bill that will never become law.

I'd like to think he'd be ashamed of this charade, but judging from what I could stomach to read from that press release, he's not. So here's a book you can send him...

If our society has to end, at least let it end with a Cantor smackdown...

I've got no problem with Obama shoving it right back in Cantor's oh-so-punchable face.

At the same time, I have no idea how it's going to play out. Will the corporate overlords eventually yank Cantor's leash back and tell him to behave, or has he gone all in with the teatards?

All I know, is if Glenn Beck can make a buck off the crazies, why can't I? So please tell your idiot neighbors to come here and click on the link below so they can stock up their survival bunkers!

You know we're fucked, right?

I mean, if it's true that Eric Cantor has veto power over the debt deal, we may as well stock up on iodine pills now.

It's not simply that he's a hyperpartisan and an idiot, it's that he has financial interest in the U.S.'s economic collapse.

Needless to say, when we're scurrying out gathering roots to take back to our basement bunkers, someone will mention that Obama should have been a better negotiator...

Slouching towards idiocracy...

It seems that the Republican plan to make sure nothing gets done so they can run on Obama getting nothing done is working, and the truly sad thing is they're not getting called on it. I've argued so many times with my liberal friends about Obama that I may as well repeat it here, how the fuck do you negotiate on an economic deal when one side is perfectly willing to let the country go to shit to "prove a point"? Especially when the Repubs can just as easily blame Obama for it?

Just back from vacay and a little wiped...

...so let's just make this another edition of what John Cole said.

--
And anyone who still calls themselves a Republican is just an asshole. Really, you’ve had ample time to figure out your party is run by maniacs. If you’re still sticking around because the “Democrats are worse” or you think the party can turn it around or because you fancy yourself a small “c” conservative or you are a glibertarian or because you hate taxes or you think Dennis Kucinich is weird (he is), you’re just an asshole. And incredibly stupid.
--

It is a little harsh but...no, wait, I take that back, it's fine.

Don't worry Michelle, I'll help you out...

It seems you're having trouble with your campaign songs, with Tom Petty and Katrina...er, Waves getting all huffy just because you're taking their songs without permission.

I've found a song for you. I think it fits the tone of your campaign quite nicely, and the singer's no longer with us, so you don't have to worry about lawyers.

8 Bits O' Nevsky - Shut Up And Take My Money Edition

I've complained in the past that some of the most beautiful and interesting-looking Wii games have yet to be released in the US despite my nerdly cravings. And not unlike Sting's castaway protagonist in "Message In A Bottle", it seems I'm not alone in being alone. Operation Rainfall is a new movement designed to get Nintendo to release three JRPGs for the Wii in the U.S., giving us fans one last gasp before the Wii U comes out.

And although my other post on this referred to The Last Story, the first focus in OpRain's campaign is Xenoblade Chronicles, and the way they've gone about is particularly fun, by preordering the game (as the then working-title Monado) on Amazon to the point where it enjoyed a brief run as the #1 game sold.

After seeing this clip, I was convinced:



Let's face it, I bought Final Fantasy XIII, a game that really has only looks going for it, and this is just as beautiful, has free-roaming, a combat system where you actually do something besides pushing the X button over and over and use flanking tactics to boot. So I happily preordered. Ball's in your court, Nintendo.

And if you're interested in getting some good games out for the Wii as well, feel free to check Operation Rainfall's blog and click on the Amazon link below...