"Picturing you with a hammer is like picturing George W. Bush with a copy of Gravity's Rainbow under his arm..."

That C. Franz is one funny motherfucker; this was his comment to me after I had mentioned some of the new home projects I've undertaken this past week. We moved into a quaint, old home back in Charlottesville proper after three years of townhome living in more conservative Albemarle County. It's nice to walk the pooch past lawns festooned with Kerry signs for a change...

Natch, "quaint" and "old" means "lots of home projects to undertake". Thank heavens my wonderful family (hi, guys!) all came down and lent me much needed non-spazzy hands while I dealt with the fun stuff, like killing the shit out of the poison ivy in our backyard.

Now that they've all gone, my wife's the only non-spaz in the house, but armed with the right tools and a shitload of Round-Up, I'm taking the plunge and joining the world of happy homeowners.

So, what's been happening in the election. What's the big issue? Jobs? Incompetence? What Kerry did in Vietnam, you say? Why don't you wake me in November, I'll be lying here in the poison ivy...