My one-word review for the Kindle Fire? Prettydamngood.

As I was waiting obnoxiously for my Kindle Fire yesterday, I remarked to my siblings that I was expecting "not quite an iPad, but better than just a big Android phone". My tech-loving friend whose Fire is due to arrive today also commented (my paraphrase) that he wasn't expecting an iPad but something good for $300 less than an iPad.

And by both of these standards, I can very readily recommend the Kindle Fire.

It's very sleek and surprisingly solid. It's got a bit of heft to it that I actually like but might be a little tiring to some. I've seen reviews with people complaining about lag, but I don't think our home wifi connection is anything special, and web surfing and streaming have been pretty zippy. Netflix, Pandora, and Amazon Cloud playing have been surprisingly nice, given that the cloud player on our laptop is a little on the slow side.

My biggest annoyance right now has been after downloading the Wired and New Yorker apps, I've been unable to sync up my subscriptions even after following the steps laid out in the app screens (and my username/password combos work fine online). I've got my e-mails into Conde Nast customer service right now because dammit, I want my instant gratification!

Also, the main screen, which shows stuff in the order you've used it, is a bit cluttery to me. They've got a little bar on the top where you can separate your content into books/videos/music/apps etc., but it seems like the front could be more clean.

And if you're not already a Prime Member, I'd strongly recommend it. Right now, it means an extra free viewing library that's decidely mediocre and unlimited cloud storage, but I find it hard to believe they won't be throwing more stuff up there in the coming months.

Looking forward to playing with this!

Vote, baby, vote!

And a happy election day to you all! The happiest thing to me is that I won't have to hear those goddamn Bryce Reeves/Edd Houck commercials on the radio anymore. It's not even my district!

State senator and state reps are foregone conclusions; based upon my interactions with candidates as well as the opinions of people whom I love, trust, and are smarter than me to a person, here was my ballot:

City Council: Smith, Collins, Fenwick
School Board: Kadija, McKee, Blount, Neale

I'm not linking or endorsing because I want these guys to win, AND I CAN'T HELP.

I'm gonna call it...Herman Cain will be the 2012 Republican nominee for President.

What happened? A new harrassment accuser has come forward...and she has hired Gloria Allred.

The only way this could have helped Cain more is if the unnamed woman had hired Nancy Pelosi. With this feminist icon to rail against, Cain is going to surf a tidal wave of outrage-and-false-victimization-fueled donations straight over Mitt's coif to victory!

Even Cain's campaign manager (does he have one?) can't fuck this up. The solicitation e-mail should be out by noon.

Another edition of "Things I Wish I Had Written"...

There's a reason bloggers everywhere want to have Charles P. Pierce's babies:

--
I don't think it's too strident to demand at this point that David Brooks be hauled up before a jury consisting of everyone else in America and forced to defend himself against several million counts of being an insufferable twat in a public place.
--

Just go read the whole brilliant thing.

Must...not...make...raising..Cain...joke...

I was amused by all the talk of the leak to Politico being a grand liberal plot; after all, the timeline and the subject matter screamed either Rove or Perry.

But after he's played a whole bunch of cards, including "liberal media" and "I'm the victim", I'm starting to think that this was just the thing Cain needed to capture the Republican nomination. What more do Repubs want than to get all warm and snuggly in a blanket of fake outrage?

The only thing is Dem ops usually aren't this clever...I'd love to be wrong, though.

Well, it can't make politics more of a circus...

I thought we were done with this guy. But he's running for governor.

And he's a libertarian. Of course he is.

But at least we can sell some more t-shirts out of this...

OK, now I'm starting to get a little nervous...

I think the best guarantee for Obama's reelection at this point is that there are really no viable opposition candidates. So the fact that they've found their most charismatic to date is a little cause for concern...

And after they all get together and pass the jobs bill, they can ride away on the rainbow-farting unicorns...

I'll freely admit I have no idea who this Daniel Gross guy is, but I think it's cute how he thinks the weak jobs report will spur legislators to action, as if the Republicans are interesting in doing anything except making sure the economy stays shitty so they can blame Obama for it.

Back to the doughnuts, Chrissypoo...

I'm not quite sure why Christiemania lasted so long; oh, I understand that no Republican wants Mitt Romney, but Christie would have crashed and burned on a .5 Trump scale. And the fact that he wasn't a complete asshole 100% of the time meant he was doomed in the Republican primary anyway.

So onto...maybe Fred Thompson should try again?

Oh, sweet, sweet, nerdgasm...

The new announcement of the Kindle Fire has just sent me all ashudder with quivering want. I don't even know everything it does yet, I just see "iPad for a third of the price". I've said it before, but I'M NOT MADE OF STONE, PEOPLE! DON'T YOU JUDGE ME!

I want this item, in all its Jetsonsesque glory, in my hands so that I may more easily forget about the plight of the suffering of the world around me...

On second thought, feel free to judge me.

Wow, Krugman even kinda likes it?

Good enough for me. Now to start calling my congressman...

And maybe we should sent this book to Hurt, just in case...

As if a million nerds cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced...

Allow me to join the outrage that Lucas is fucking with Jedi on the Blu-Ray re-release, and on perhaps the single most iconic scene within that movie. I really don't care so much about the other changes, and making Yoda CGI in Phantom Menace is actually an improvement, but no, I don't want these movies, and Lucas just saved me ninety bucks.

Looking at some of the extras, it's amazing to me how much Lucas has deteriorated as a screenwriter and filmmaker. For example, there's this deleted scene from Revenge of the Sith, as Obi-Wan discovers that Anakin has turned and has been forced by Yoda to confront him...


OBI-WAN KENOBI
I beg of you, Master Yoda, let me fight the Emperor, please don't send me to fight Anakin.

YODA
Sorry, Obi-Wan, but too strong the Emperor is...

OBI-WAN
Master...

YODA
Make you his bitch he would...

OBI-WAN
What?

YODA
Pussy you are. See how Force you my bitch makes...

OBI-WAN
OUCH, OW! HEY, STOP IT!

YODA
Hitting yourself cease, hitting yourself cease...

OBI-WAN
Fine, you made your point...

YODA
Afraid I am that Force you fully comprehend not. So blow me you must.

OBI-WAN
Oh no bloody fuckin' way, mateUUUUURRRRRRRRPPPPP!

YODA
Through the Force a Jedi's strength flows, just as down your esophagus my load will soon flow. Yes, yes, teeth you use not...
--

Well, the dialogue ends there, but the scene goes on for eight more minutes. I think we can all agree that Lucas really needs to stop his self-indulgence.

Check out Inessa Telefus on the radio today!

I would be horribly remiss if I didn't mention how the gorgeous and brilliant Inessa would be sharing her insights on the "Speaking Forward" program today at 2. The webpage has a "Listen Live" link on the right so you can stream it. A perfect warm-up to your tailgating party!

How DARE he talk about jobs! The nerve...

And let's not pretend this scheduling kerfluffle is about anything more than sticking it to the prez.

Chr*st, don't you just want to smash Boehner's face with a shovel? IT CAN'T JUST BE ME...

Can we please stop having earthquakes?

I slept through this one; my wife said "we just had another earthquake!" and I was like "you mean another aftershock?" and she was like "NO. An earthquake!"

And I can't wait for the next round of interminable mocking from the West Coast. "Ooooooh, that was what, a 4.5? We use THOSE earthquakes to get the salt off the top shelf in the pantry! When those hit, we stick our hands down our pants and let the earth serve as a natural vibrator!"

Hope everyone's fine...

...it was just a li'l rumble. In my office, people didn't start freaking out until after it was over.

I call this piece "A Walk in the Woods"...

"Ah, isn't it great just to get out, away from it all?"
"As long as we're back in time for the game..."
"Oh, boy! Look at this, a buttercup! Who likes butter? Do youuuuuu? Do you like butter?"
"OK, OK, stop it, you're sticking it in my eye. Take it down a notch will you?"
"WOW! I didn't know this grew down here! It's banana-bamboo!"
"What the hell's that?"
"Here, I'll break off a piece. Now, let me just get my penknife. Notice how quickly the wood is formed into a razor-sharp point? And if you just poke..."
"DAAAAAAH! HOLY JESUS! YOU JUST STABBED ME! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?"
"Ha ha! You said, 'ow!' That means you like bananas!"
"No, that means you stabbed me through the leg, you fucking dick! And...holy shit, my leg's going numb! What the...what did you do? I'm...getting cold."
"Yeah, that's something, the wood has an oil that is also a natural neurotoxin, helps protect it against weevils. Isn't it great how nature does that? OH MY WORD, I don't believe it! Tickle-thistles! You know, if you take the flowers, grind them in a mortar and pestle and add just enough water to form a cement-like paste which you then use to plug somebody's mouth and nostrils, and they twitch, it means they're ticklish! Good thing I brought my mortar and pestle with me!"
"Insane...you're insane...must get away...too slow...numb...scared..."
"Come on, this is fun! Oh, stop squirming! Oh oh, I know who's ticklish now! Yep, it's certainly nice to just take a moment to reflect on some of Nature's most fantastic creations! OK, let's get back, the game's going to start soon...hey, why aren't you moving? C'mon, let's get going! Coochee coochee coo..."

Double shocked, shocked, I tell you...

I didn't find anything really "surprising" about these findings at all beyond the framing of the headline. I mean, atheists are hated? What did they ever do to anybody?

But after reading this sentence:

--
"[Tea Party members] are overwhelmingly white, but even compared to other white Republicans, they had a low regard for immigrants and blacks long before Barack Obama was president, and they still do"...
--

All I could think was this:

At the Downtown Mall for lunch? Say hi to our congressman!

That's right, Rep. Hurt is actually going to be out in public today, from 12 to 1:30.

And good for him for being there. Seriously. I mean, I don't think he's been anywhere near as good as his predecessor in terms of performance or constituent service, but I certainly won't fault him for presenting himself to his constituents. And I hope the people of Charlottesville come out to politely discuss their ideas with him...

Thanks, Sarah!

It's been two days since I've written on this blog, so thanks for giving me subject matter by being stupid and annoying!