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27 March 2005

"You make me want to pick up a guitar, and celebrate the myriad ways that I love you."

Blogging from the DC area this morning, as I traveled to my sister's place in order to catch Interpol last night at the 9:30 Club. A solid, professional show (give that guitar player a Quaalude, though), but the real revelation was the opening act, Blonde Redhead. Might have been the absolute shittiest performance ever from a group I paid money to see. And I'm including De La Soul's horrible '93 performance at Bates College. It was all the more offensive to me because I normally like this sort of crap: shoegazer guitar chords powerfully strummed for two-three minutes with heavy use of the ol' flanger pedal, with either a skinny male mumbling incomprehensible lines about a cruel world or an ethereal female ready to protect you in her moist mother-earth embrace. But the illusion was destroyed every time Kazu Mikano opened her mouth, thus turning their performance into high comedy. After every painfully out-of-tune line she insisted on doing a dance that resembled a cross between Axl Rose and a drunk Olive Oyl. I'm still in shock from the stunning lack of self-awareness. Sis and I killed time waiting for the Interpol set up with various theories concerning BR's ability to score a gig like this (they all involved Mikano being someone's girlfriend), but a quick Amazon search reveals they've been around for a while. Judging from their song titles, their hilarious pretensiousness isn't limited to concert performances, and remember, this is coming from a guy with two Slowdive albums.

Maybe she was just getting over a cold.

I almost want to buy their album just to find out how production masks her voice, she CAN'T sound like that on disk, can she? Oh well, the drummer was good (I'm such a softie, I have to say something nice about everything).

Didn't say much about Interpol, did I? Certainly not enough to justify the use of a song line as a subject title. Didn't realize the bassist was so angular. And kudos to Sis for finding a great spot to watch the show (balcony in the right corner affords a great view of everything).

24 March 2005

Classic 2 + 2 = 5 post of the day!

As we look back at one year of blogging, which was of course absolutely necessary and vital and not at all redundant, repetitive, or superfluous, I think the one unique trait of this blog, the one that keeps halves of dozens coming back for more, is the Nostradamus-like prescience exhibited by the author. Here's a chestnut you'll no doubt remember...


11 May 2004
Now that I got my free crap, I can say with enthusiasm...


Thanks for the bumpersticker Johnny, you're going on right under Howard, because when I drive I want to convey the message, "Sure, Howard Dean would have probably been a better president and beat up Dubya like a schoolyard bully, but when push comes to shove, Democrats are cowards and pick the 'safe' candidate, but you can certainly take solace in the fact that Kerry will also give Dubya a few kicks as we throw his cracker ass out of the White House."
This has been a 2 + 2 = 5 moment, brought to you by me when it's not a socially acceptable time to drink and I'm too lazy to joylessly masturbate.

23 March 2005

Bloggerz still trippin' over shit I said last year...

You know, the gruesome flesh fetish parade going on in Florida distracted me from a somewhat important personal milestone.

This blog had its first birthday this past Saturday.

And in its honor, I give you the first "classic" post...

19 March 2004

Everyone else is doing it, so why can't I?

Greetings, all. You may remember me from such blogs as Thoughts That Get Stuck in My Head. But why inflict my thoughts on CmdrSue's webspace when it is just as easy (and cost-effective) to create my own little nook? And so I have. Howdy!

And now that I'm here, any suggestions to improve the look while my blog is still in its gurgling infancy?

See, even back then I didn't have much to say and you could see the desperation emanating from your monitor. *snif* The good ol' days...
"Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart."

Anne Frank wrote that, not me. I don't think I believe it, at least, watching the way a depraved lunatic fringe is taking advantage of a mother and father's refusal to face reality in order to indulge its sick flesh fetish is strong evidence to the contrary.

All the same, articles like these allow me to remember that there are generous people in this country who truly do try to help one another and make sacrifices for the greater good. This can be hard to remember given the spiritually bereft, materialistic culture being promoted by the current administration, but Americans can still be capable of such gestures.

21 March 2005

Still sad, and still sickening...

After reading about this flesh fetish parade going on down in Florida, my wife and I both made it clear to each other that in similar circumstances we would want to be let go.

But I see our wishes don't mean shit to Congress.

In an incredibly disturbing, creepy article, who possessed the most disturbing, creepy quote? You guessed it, Texas congressman/alleged human Tom Delay:

"I tell you I won't feel good until that tube is put back in. It's been 58 hours. I hope, I pray she lasts until that judge puts that tube back in," he said.

He then said "bibble-bibble-oatbran"...

20 March 2005

Sad, and sickening...

...but what would you expect from a ghoul like Randall Terry? But just in case he's truly concerned about alleviating hunger and not just engaging in repulsive political theater, he may want to check out this site.

16 March 2005

11 March 2005

This one's for the siblings... I take a page from the right-wing bloggers and write something about which I know nothing. A TiVo-Apple merger? Whaddya think? Will Steve Jobs once again save the universe with a consumer electric product that will look nifty, cost 20% more than everything else, and be purchased by almost 1% of the public? Do I care? Not really, because like all smarmy thirtysomethings I readily dismiss that which I don't understand...

08 March 2005

You had me at "Turkey Twizzler"...

I've often gone into embarrassing gushiness over Jamie Oliver, who's second only to Rush Limbaugh in terms of helping to increase household mortar-and-pestle sales, so I may as well link to his new website, dedicated to helping UK kids eat better in schools. Anyone who has seen Super Size Me, or hell, anyone who's been to a mall lately (and if you're like me, it's all you can do to keep from pointing at certain children and yelling "SWEET LORD, DID YOU TAKE WILLY WONKA'S EXPERIMENTAL CHEWING GUM WITHOUT HIS PERMISSION?")will attest to the worthiness of his goal.

But you don't want to know what a "Turkey Twizzler" is...

Update: OK, there's a picture of one on Jamie's other website. Try NOT to think "pig's pecker"...

Now THAT's a school lunch name...
С Международным днём женщин!

That's right, I hope you all went to Hallmark today to buy shitloads of useless crap for your mom, wife, sister, co-workers, and various other ladies for International Woman's Day!

Really, why hasn't Hallmark exploited that one? I mean, we're almost three weeks past Please Give Me, Valentine's Day and still have a good week 'n' a half to go to St. Patrick's...

03 March 2005

Perhaps it's due to women not snorting double heapin' handfuls of hillbilly heroin as often as men...

Just saying, is all.

Oh, Rush, my dear, you are an idiot. At least the drugs helped you take the weight off...

01 March 2005

The thrill of victory...

Go here if you want to see what's being called one of the best curling shots ever (click on the video link). I don't think I've been so choked up since watching the last out of Randy Johnson's perfect game last year. I don't know that much about curling (always try to watch it during the Winter Olympics), but that looked fucking impressive...