I'm STILL not concedin' shit.

Or should that be, "I STILL ain't concedin' shit"? It would have been nice if Mr. Electability raised a bigger stink (what the fuck are they afraid of? Ann Coulter calling him a loser? A divided country?) but maybe the possibly-computer-manipulated votes weren't there for him.

Well, thanks, redneck idiots. Our country is now safe from the dangerous threat of marryin' homos. To quote the great American philosopher Kurt Angle, "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?" Fuck you, red states, geography offers you some protection from potential terrorist attacks, but I have loved ones in urban areas and on the coasts, and I can't believe you'd make president someone you wouldn't hire as your personal assistant. Get the fuck out of my country, you're fucking it up with your idiocy. In alphabetical order. Alabama voters for Bush, you first. Take fucking Greyhound to Mexico, I don't care.

And the Democratic party better unfuck itself, get Howard Dean to perform some ball transplants, and start Barack Obama on his weight training NOW.

It's going to be a long four years. At least the Daily Show will still be funny, if there's electricity in post-apocalyptic America.