Don't taze me, bro! I just want to tell the Senator about Nevsky's Top Ten!
10) The Fall, "Youwanner"
9) The Pretenders, "Mystery Achievement"
8) The Cars, "Bye Bye Love"
7) Busta Rhymes, "Get Out!!"
6) Bob Mould, "Reflecting Pool"
5) Paul Kelly, "Dumb Things"
4) Bright Eyes, "If The Brakeman Turns My Way"
3) Seal, "Prayer For The Dying"
2) Aimee Mann, "Ghost World"
1) Bob Dylan, "Days of 49"
"Mind you, I quite agree that twice-two-makes-four is a most excellent thing; but if we are to give everything its due, then twice-two-makes-five is sometimes a most charming little thing, too."
23 September 2007
05 September 2007
I don't give a shit about Senator Craig's sex life. And neither should you.
Or the Republicans who are insisting he retire. But if that's what can force you out, they should at least be consistent and get David Vitter to go too.
And it seems to me that if Craig WERE gay, and admitted as much, he could go have as much homosexual sex with gay men of the same gender as he wanted without tapping out Morse Code in airport bathrooms...
Or the Republicans who are insisting he retire. But if that's what can force you out, they should at least be consistent and get David Vitter to go too.
And it seems to me that if Craig WERE gay, and admitted as much, he could go have as much homosexual sex with gay men of the same gender as he wanted without tapping out Morse Code in airport bathrooms...
22 August 2007
Who says we're a divided country?
Red and blue states agree that Giuliani is a big douchebag!
Having been served bowl after bowl of "Everyone Hates Hilary" goulash (and no Hilary fan I), I'm surprised my home state, Virginia, has her up, since they've had no problem electing the ilk of Jim Gilmore and Virgil Goode. Well, if you're hated by half the country, I guess your hope is that your opponent is hated by 55%...
Red and blue states agree that Giuliani is a big douchebag!
Having been served bowl after bowl of "Everyone Hates Hilary" goulash (and no Hilary fan I), I'm surprised my home state, Virginia, has her up, since they've had no problem electing the ilk of Jim Gilmore and Virgil Goode. Well, if you're hated by half the country, I guess your hope is that your opponent is hated by 55%...
20 August 2007
Ok, let's settle this right now...
I think this is hilarious, my brother doesn't. And I had no idea this was a parody of a real game show, so that's no factor. Who's right?
I think this is hilarious, my brother doesn't. And I had no idea this was a parody of a real game show, so that's no factor. Who's right?
15 August 2007
Hey kids, more fun than a punch in the junk, it's time again for "What's Ickier?"
And this is a special "I wish to God I was kidding" edition!
*First, we have an upcoming movie featuring Mary-Kate Olson and Ben Kingsley kissing.
*Or, we have an Uwe Boll movie (bad enough, you'd think) featuring "Kids In The Hall" and "Newsradio" star Dave Foley in a full frontal nude scene. Scratching himself.
You guys start the clock, I'm busy trying to remember how to tie a slipknot...
And this is a special "I wish to God I was kidding" edition!
*First, we have an upcoming movie featuring Mary-Kate Olson and Ben Kingsley kissing.
*Or, we have an Uwe Boll movie (bad enough, you'd think) featuring "Kids In The Hall" and "Newsradio" star Dave Foley in a full frontal nude scene. Scratching himself.
You guys start the clock, I'm busy trying to remember how to tie a slipknot...
09 August 2007
Hear that, soldiers? You can come home!
Because helping Mitt Romney get elected president is just like fighting in Iraq. Or something, I'm not sure. His answer didn't make much sense...
Seriously, how is this Twinkie a front-runner? McCain should be ashamed of himself...
Dammit, I keep fucking up my Google Ads with these Romney references. What do the kids like these days? Nintendo! iPhone! Pornography! Pornography for males with heterosexual preferences! Or males who claim them!
Because helping Mitt Romney get elected president is just like fighting in Iraq. Or something, I'm not sure. His answer didn't make much sense...
Seriously, how is this Twinkie a front-runner? McCain should be ashamed of himself...
Dammit, I keep fucking up my Google Ads with these Romney references. What do the kids like these days? Nintendo! iPhone! Pornography! Pornography for males with heterosexual preferences! Or males who claim them!
05 August 2007
He's glib, he's tan, maybe it will be Mitt...
In this less-than-impressive Republican field, he seems to know that the best way to score points in the media is to hit Ron Paul with a cheap soundbite.
But by referencing 9/11, is Mitt then implicitly acknowledging the failures of this administration over the past eight years with regards to national security?
I'm not sure. But that is a really nice tan he has...
In this less-than-impressive Republican field, he seems to know that the best way to score points in the media is to hit Ron Paul with a cheap soundbite.
But by referencing 9/11, is Mitt then implicitly acknowledging the failures of this administration over the past eight years with regards to national security?
I'm not sure. But that is a really nice tan he has...
30 July 2007
More popular than ObamaGirl, HillaryGuy, BrownbackGoat, and GiulianiShemale put together, it's Nevsky's Top Ten!
10) The Fall, "Youwanner"
9) Sting, "I Hung My Head"
8) The Cars, "Bye Bye Love"
7) Graham Coxon, "Freakin' Out"
6) Busta Rhymes, "Get Out!!"
5) Public Enemy, "Give It Up"
4) Seal, "Prayer For The Dying"
3) Bob Mould, "Reflecting Pool"
2) The Fixx, "Are We Ourselves?"
1) Bob Dylan, "Days of 49"
10) The Fall, "Youwanner"
9) Sting, "I Hung My Head"
8) The Cars, "Bye Bye Love"
7) Graham Coxon, "Freakin' Out"
6) Busta Rhymes, "Get Out!!"
5) Public Enemy, "Give It Up"
4) Seal, "Prayer For The Dying"
3) Bob Mould, "Reflecting Pool"
2) The Fixx, "Are We Ourselves?"
1) Bob Dylan, "Days of 49"
Wow. What balls.
After eight years of Republican incompetence, it galls me when any candidate will try to push the argument that the Dems will be even worse.
If you're going to do that, at least explain by what criteria you think Bush is doing a good job. Just give me time to get a bowl of popcorn...
After eight years of Republican incompetence, it galls me when any candidate will try to push the argument that the Dems will be even worse.
If you're going to do that, at least explain by what criteria you think Bush is doing a good job. Just give me time to get a bowl of popcorn...
23 July 2007
And "Mitt" rhymes with "bullshit"...
You don't have to take my advice, Mr. Romney (although Jim Gilmore didn't take my advice, and look what happened), but if you ask me, you played this one totally wrong.
For those who didn't click on the link, Romney has an arm around a fan holding a sign that says "No to Obama, Osama, and Chelsea' Moma (sic)". (He's also holding the sign up in another picture). His response to complaints was basically "I didn't see the sign, I don't remember what it said, and you need to lighten up." OK, if you didn't see the sign, why are you so defensive? Just say "I don't remember the sign, obviously I don't agree with it." You're done. Or, if you want to use the "best defense is a strong offense" line, you say "I thought it was a funny little joke, and nothing more, get a life." But this is the worst of both worlds; you want to play the persecution card a la Imus but you also foist the responsibility for the words on someone else.
Also, it makes you look like a liar. My guess is (and this is only because the following scenario is a million times more plausible than your excuse) you saw the sign, thought it was funny, didn't want to upset one of your radical supporters, and snapped a picture thoughtlessly, not thinking that in the age of interwebs and e-tubes it would show up on the news.
So, in a situation that could have been handled either with a sincere apology or righteous anger, you end up looking like a liar, a weasel, and a fool.
On the plus side, nice tan.
You don't have to take my advice, Mr. Romney (although Jim Gilmore didn't take my advice, and look what happened), but if you ask me, you played this one totally wrong.
For those who didn't click on the link, Romney has an arm around a fan holding a sign that says "No to Obama, Osama, and Chelsea' Moma (sic)". (He's also holding the sign up in another picture). His response to complaints was basically "I didn't see the sign, I don't remember what it said, and you need to lighten up." OK, if you didn't see the sign, why are you so defensive? Just say "I don't remember the sign, obviously I don't agree with it." You're done. Or, if you want to use the "best defense is a strong offense" line, you say "I thought it was a funny little joke, and nothing more, get a life." But this is the worst of both worlds; you want to play the persecution card a la Imus but you also foist the responsibility for the words on someone else.
Also, it makes you look like a liar. My guess is (and this is only because the following scenario is a million times more plausible than your excuse) you saw the sign, thought it was funny, didn't want to upset one of your radical supporters, and snapped a picture thoughtlessly, not thinking that in the age of interwebs and e-tubes it would show up on the news.
So, in a situation that could have been handled either with a sincere apology or righteous anger, you end up looking like a liar, a weasel, and a fool.
On the plus side, nice tan.
29 June 2007
If we can't believe in astronaut diapers, what CAN we believe in??
It's been almost a decade and people still believe that Bill Clinton stopped traffic in LAX to get his hair cut, or that Al Gore actually said he invented the Internet.
But, by golly, our crackerjack media is all up on top of the astronaut diaper myth.
I think I'll go soak in a hot tub...
It's been almost a decade and people still believe that Bill Clinton stopped traffic in LAX to get his hair cut, or that Al Gore actually said he invented the Internet.
But, by golly, our crackerjack media is all up on top of the astronaut diaper myth.
I think I'll go soak in a hot tub...
28 June 2007
I may get my nerd pass revoked for this, but...
The Transformers movie? I just don't get the whole thing...
I mean, they're robots, right? Fighting other robots. Why should we give a shit? And the whole transforming thing, it's cool, but, what's the purpose? Does that disguise fool anyone? You walk through twenty or so miles of robot-related carnage and the end of it is this huge truck snickering to itself in a robot-like monotone "no one will see through my clever disguise". I'm sure CmdrSue or sixthdoctor will be happy to explain why I'm wrong...
At least everyone agrees that Michael Bay sucks...
The Transformers movie? I just don't get the whole thing...
I mean, they're robots, right? Fighting other robots. Why should we give a shit? And the whole transforming thing, it's cool, but, what's the purpose? Does that disguise fool anyone? You walk through twenty or so miles of robot-related carnage and the end of it is this huge truck snickering to itself in a robot-like monotone "no one will see through my clever disguise". I'm sure CmdrSue or sixthdoctor will be happy to explain why I'm wrong...
At least everyone agrees that Michael Bay sucks...
27 June 2007
Hey, everybody, Mitt Romney's an UNBELIEVABLE asshole!
I understand that National Lampoon's Vacation is a popular film, but emulating it might not be the best way to pick up votes.
To me, the scariest part is he THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA.
I understand that National Lampoon's Vacation is a popular film, but emulating it might not be the best way to pick up votes.
To me, the scariest part is he THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA.
26 June 2007
22 June 2007
How sad...
I'll be the first to admit that I have no overbearing concern about the safety of amusement park rides, and I only tend to avoid them because I'm a coward. Still, this incident seems beyond the pale. That poor girl.
I think we can all agree that amusement park malfunctions aren't funny unless Fabio gets smashed in the face.
UPDATE: CNN.com just put up a poll question, "Are you concerned about the safety of amusement park rides?" Well, I fucking am now! Nice scientific poll you got there...
I'll be the first to admit that I have no overbearing concern about the safety of amusement park rides, and I only tend to avoid them because I'm a coward. Still, this incident seems beyond the pale. That poor girl.
I think we can all agree that amusement park malfunctions aren't funny unless Fabio gets smashed in the face.
UPDATE: CNN.com just put up a poll question, "Are you concerned about the safety of amusement park rides?" Well, I fucking am now! Nice scientific poll you got there...
21 June 2007
It's Marketing 101, people...
The libs are all up in arms about this condom ad being rejected by Fox and CBS because it seems to promote the idea of condoms for pregnancy prevention rather than disease prevention.
The real problem for the fine people at Trojan, however, is that the commercial doesn't work. Yes, it's clever, but it doesn't speak to the kids. Fortunately, jimmy hat executives, Nevsky's got yer back! Because everyone knows that there's nothing more popular with the kids than legendary pop-jazz vocal combo Manhattan Transfer, whom I've once again flew in at tremendous personal expense to record a catchy new jingle:
"Saturated with loathing? Full of self-hate?
Wish to joylessly masturbate?
Don't stain the sheets in your parents' basement with your milky jizz;
Just cover your undersized pecker with a Trojan-brand condom so you can go back to playing WoW addled with guilt, you loser!"
I expect to be compensated according to standard Writers' Guild guidelines...
The libs are all up in arms about this condom ad being rejected by Fox and CBS because it seems to promote the idea of condoms for pregnancy prevention rather than disease prevention.
The real problem for the fine people at Trojan, however, is that the commercial doesn't work. Yes, it's clever, but it doesn't speak to the kids. Fortunately, jimmy hat executives, Nevsky's got yer back! Because everyone knows that there's nothing more popular with the kids than legendary pop-jazz vocal combo Manhattan Transfer, whom I've once again flew in at tremendous personal expense to record a catchy new jingle:
"Saturated with loathing? Full of self-hate?
Wish to joylessly masturbate?
Don't stain the sheets in your parents' basement with your milky jizz;
Just cover your undersized pecker with a Trojan-brand condom so you can go back to playing WoW addled with guilt, you loser!"
I expect to be compensated according to standard Writers' Guild guidelines...
13 June 2007
11 June 2007
Even more fun than Scrabble today...
...has been reading the comments on Time's blog post concerning Joe Klein's ridiculous conflation of Paris Hilton and Scooter Libby. Trust me, it makes even less sense if you actually read it, just go to the comments for a larf (the first one was the best, btw).
...has been reading the comments on Time's blog post concerning Joe Klein's ridiculous conflation of Paris Hilton and Scooter Libby. Trust me, it makes even less sense if you actually read it, just go to the comments for a larf (the first one was the best, btw).
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