But...but, he's such a MAVERICKY scaremonger!

I think it's a little early for McCain to start playing the "Vote for me or your kids will die" card, but that's why I'm not in politics...

And isn't it generally accepted wisdom that the bin Laden tape four years ago helped Bush? Is it too cynical of me to think that McCain is covering his tushie in case there IS an attack?

Probably, though the way McCain's been running his campaign hasn't mollified my cynicism...

Oh, for heaven's sake...

Geraldine, just go away...

You're not being attacked because you are white, you are getting called out for being an asshole. There is a difference, you know...

Hmmm, must be a Democratic sex scandal...

...everyone involved is over the age of consent.

An upset in the making?

GO HUCK GO!

UPDATE (8:13 PM):

Fuck.

BTW, does anyone else think it's funny that even with Hillary getting pwned, she still whomps the shit out of McCain and El Huckarino by 30K each?

Anyone? Anyone? I think it's pretty funny meself...

Hey, lay off Mike, Mr. Grouchypuss!

If you're going after Mike Huckabee, who got the coveted Nevsky Republican primary endorsement, you're going to have to go through me too.

And by the way, you sucked on Law & Order...

Happy New Year cool cats and crazy kids!

And although the new year as always brings new hopes, dreams, and ambitions, some things remain comfortably the same. The media still sucks and makes me want to poke my eardrums out with a Cuisinart hand blender, and the upcoming election year is going to make things a whole lot worse.

But hey, my brother's blogging again!

Let the piling on begin...

..and it couldn't happen to a more deserving asshole...

And the coveted Republican presidential candidate endorsement goes to...

...I don't give a fuckabee, I endorse Mike Huckabee! (And Mike, you can have that slogan for huckafree. Hee.)

Now, I haven't liked Mr. B in the past, for his coarse political discourse (He called Michael Moore fat! The man has feelings you know!). But anyone who has Chuck Norris in his political ads and scores a good zinger on BullMitt Romney can't be all bad.

So congrats Mike, you get Nevsky's coveted endorsement for the Republican candidacy!

Which places you ninth on my list for president, behind seven Democratic candidates.

And "none of the above".

I'm coming out of hibernation to call bullshit...

As we all know, the holiday season is upon us, where people of all nations, creeds, and races come together in the spirit of peace and understanding...wait a minute, that was that Coca-Cola commercial they used to play when I was a kid, I meant the season where douchebags like John Gibson and Bill O'Reilly strain like an 80-year-old with an impacted bowel to build up fake outrage and act Hurt and Wounded (TM) that the traditions as they know them no longer exist.

Witness the latest attempt, it didn't surprise me that the whole banning of "ho,ho,ho" in Austrailia story was a wash, because it sounded ridiculous in the first place. When I first heard the story, I was like Whitney with her cocaine receipts; show me the complaint, show me the person who was actually arguing that "ho,ho,ho" was offensive.

Still waiting...

Because anyone who would actually complain about this would be either 1) batshit insane, and therefore easy to ignore, or 2) a plant doing an impression of a mid-90s PC zealot, which are as rare these days as a Democratic senator with a spine.

Here's Nevsky's Rule of Political Correctness: since 1995, people who complain about political correctness have been more annoying than political correctness itself. What these people usually want is what they inaccurately perceive as their (insert deity here)-given right to be assholes, which is why Gibson and O'Reilly are their patron saints.

My advice, free of charge: Chill the fuck out, and go pop in the Grinch DVD...

Don't taze me, bro! I just want to tell the Senator about Nevsky's Top Ten!

10) The Fall, "Youwanner"
9) The Pretenders, "Mystery Achievement"
8) The Cars, "Bye Bye Love"
7) Busta Rhymes, "Get Out!!"
6) Bob Mould, "Reflecting Pool"
5) Paul Kelly, "Dumb Things"
4) Bright Eyes, "If The Brakeman Turns My Way"
3) Seal, "Prayer For The Dying"
2) Aimee Mann, "Ghost World"
1) Bob Dylan, "Days of 49"

2 + 2 = 500!

I just noticed that my last post was No. 500 for this ol' blog.

I should say that had I known I was reaching such a significant milestone, I would have done something a bit more substantial than make cheap Larry Craig jokes.

But I know myself too well...

I don't give a shit about Senator Craig's sex life. And neither should you.

Or the Republicans who are insisting he retire. But if that's what can force you out, they should at least be consistent and get David Vitter to go too.

And it seems to me that if Craig WERE gay, and admitted as much, he could go have as much homosexual sex with gay men of the same gender as he wanted without tapping out Morse Code in airport bathrooms...

Who says we're a divided country?

Red and blue states agree that Giuliani is a big douchebag!

Having been served bowl after bowl of "Everyone Hates Hilary" goulash (and no Hilary fan I), I'm surprised my home state, Virginia, has her up, since they've had no problem electing the ilk of Jim Gilmore and Virgil Goode. Well, if you're hated by half the country, I guess your hope is that your opponent is hated by 55%...

Ok, let's settle this right now...

I think this is hilarious, my brother doesn't. And I had no idea this was a parody of a real game show, so that's no factor. Who's right?

Hey kids, more fun than a punch in the junk, it's time again for "What's Ickier?"

And this is a special "I wish to God I was kidding" edition!

*First, we have an upcoming movie featuring Mary-Kate Olson and Ben Kingsley kissing.

*Or, we have an Uwe Boll movie (bad enough, you'd think) featuring "Kids In The Hall" and "Newsradio" star Dave Foley in a full frontal nude scene. Scratching himself.

You guys start the clock, I'm busy trying to remember how to tie a slipknot...

Hear that, soldiers? You can come home!

Because helping Mitt Romney get elected president is just like fighting in Iraq. Or something, I'm not sure. His answer didn't make much sense...

Seriously, how is this Twinkie a front-runner? McCain should be ashamed of himself...

Dammit, I keep fucking up my Google Ads with these Romney references. What do the kids like these days? Nintendo! iPhone! Pornography! Pornography for males with heterosexual preferences! Or males who claim them!

He's glib, he's tan, maybe it will be Mitt...

In this less-than-impressive Republican field, he seems to know that the best way to score points in the media is to hit Ron Paul with a cheap soundbite.

But by referencing 9/11, is Mitt then implicitly acknowledging the failures of this administration over the past eight years with regards to national security?

I'm not sure. But that is a really nice tan he has...

More popular than ObamaGirl, HillaryGuy, BrownbackGoat, and GiulianiShemale put together, it's Nevsky's Top Ten!

10) The Fall, "Youwanner"
9) Sting, "I Hung My Head"
8) The Cars, "Bye Bye Love"
7) Graham Coxon, "Freakin' Out"
6) Busta Rhymes, "Get Out!!"
5) Public Enemy, "Give It Up"
4) Seal, "Prayer For The Dying"
3) Bob Mould, "Reflecting Pool"
2) The Fixx, "Are We Ourselves?"
1) Bob Dylan, "Days of 49"

Wow. What balls.

After eight years of Republican incompetence, it galls me when any candidate will try to push the argument that the Dems will be even worse.

If you're going to do that, at least explain by what criteria you think Bush is doing a good job. Just give me time to get a bowl of popcorn...

And "Mitt" rhymes with "bullshit"...

You don't have to take my advice, Mr. Romney (although Jim Gilmore didn't take my advice, and look what happened), but if you ask me, you played this one totally wrong.

For those who didn't click on the link, Romney has an arm around a fan holding a sign that says "No to Obama, Osama, and Chelsea' Moma (sic)". (He's also holding the sign up in another picture). His response to complaints was basically "I didn't see the sign, I don't remember what it said, and you need to lighten up." OK, if you didn't see the sign, why are you so defensive? Just say "I don't remember the sign, obviously I don't agree with it." You're done. Or, if you want to use the "best defense is a strong offense" line, you say "I thought it was a funny little joke, and nothing more, get a life." But this is the worst of both worlds; you want to play the persecution card a la Imus but you also foist the responsibility for the words on someone else.

Also, it makes you look like a liar. My guess is (and this is only because the following scenario is a million times more plausible than your excuse) you saw the sign, thought it was funny, didn't want to upset one of your radical supporters, and snapped a picture thoughtlessly, not thinking that in the age of interwebs and e-tubes it would show up on the news.

So, in a situation that could have been handled either with a sincere apology or righteous anger, you end up looking like a liar, a weasel, and a fool.

On the plus side, nice tan.