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04 September 2011

As if a million nerds cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced...

Allow me to join the outrage that Lucas is fucking with Jedi on the Blu-Ray re-release, and on perhaps the single most iconic scene within that movie. I really don't care so much about the other changes, and making Yoda CGI in Phantom Menace is actually an improvement, but no, I don't want these movies, and Lucas just saved me ninety bucks.

Looking at some of the extras, it's amazing to me how much Lucas has deteriorated as a screenwriter and filmmaker. For example, there's this deleted scene from Revenge of the Sith, as Obi-Wan discovers that Anakin has turned and has been forced by Yoda to confront him...


OBI-WAN KENOBI
I beg of you, Master Yoda, let me fight the Emperor, please don't send me to fight Anakin.

YODA
Sorry, Obi-Wan, but too strong the Emperor is...

OBI-WAN
Master...

YODA
Make you his bitch he would...

OBI-WAN
What?

YODA
Pussy you are. See how Force you my bitch makes...

OBI-WAN
OUCH, OW! HEY, STOP IT!

YODA
Hitting yourself cease, hitting yourself cease...

OBI-WAN
Fine, you made your point...

YODA
Afraid I am that Force you fully comprehend not. So blow me you must.

OBI-WAN
Oh no bloody fuckin' way, mateUUUUURRRRRRRRPPPPP!

YODA
Through the Force a Jedi's strength flows, just as down your esophagus my load will soon flow. Yes, yes, teeth you use not...
--

Well, the dialogue ends there, but the scene goes on for eight more minutes. I think we can all agree that Lucas really needs to stop his self-indulgence.

1 comment:

sixthdoctor said...

Deserve it, Yoda does...