He's not a dickhead just because his bald head resembles the tip of a circumsized penis.

I mean, he was good in The Assassination of Jesse James, honestly, he was. But all the same, fuck James Carville.

It must be mavericky straight-shooting to make the same mistake over and over again.

McCain still seems to be confused about who we're supposed to be fighting, and I guess Lieberman wasn't standing by to whisper sweet corrections in his ear.

I wondered why the media seems to be giving McCain a pass on this when Obama would have been raked over the coals, so I asked my buddy covering the McCain campaign. Here's his response:

--
"Hey Nev! Good to hear from you! You know, he has a soft ice cream maker in the break room! We like to put in Edy's Cookie Dough ice cream, and then mix in ANOTHER tube of cookie dough so it's all ooey-gooey good! We call it the Super-Duper Cookie Dough Bomb Blitz Blizzard! It's so much fun covering John McCain! Yippee!
--

Ah.

I'm sure the media can help me out with this...

Not understanding what's going on in Iraq, is that an example of his mavericky straight talk, or his straight-shootin' maverickness?

Update: I just received an answer from a media rep, and I quote:

"He's serving the Carolina BBQ in the press tent tonight! Hot diggity!"

Thoughts on Obama's speech in one sentence...

Agree with him or not, it's refreshing to have someone actually talk to the American people as if they're collectively older than six.

Because snooty lords need mavericky straight talk too!

But only American donations please, you see, even straight-talking mavericks need to follow the fundraising rules as they try to weasel out of their matching fund commitments.

But...but, he's such a MAVERICKY scaremonger!

I think it's a little early for McCain to start playing the "Vote for me or your kids will die" card, but that's why I'm not in politics...

And isn't it generally accepted wisdom that the bin Laden tape four years ago helped Bush? Is it too cynical of me to think that McCain is covering his tushie in case there IS an attack?

Probably, though the way McCain's been running his campaign hasn't mollified my cynicism...

Oh, for heaven's sake...

Geraldine, just go away...

You're not being attacked because you are white, you are getting called out for being an asshole. There is a difference, you know...

Hmmm, must be a Democratic sex scandal...

...everyone involved is over the age of consent.