"Mommy, Mommy, I wanna ride on Nevsky's Musical Journey!"

"No, sweetheart, you know after you ride on Nevsky's Musical Journey you puke your fucking guts up just like Daddy after one of his self-loathing benders..."

Strap 'em in, kids. Fasten your seat belts, too, and turn on my Launchcast station...

The Fall, "Jim's 'The Fall'", rating: 98

A ramshackle song from an incredibly shitty album (even the liner-note writer for the Greatest Hits album calls this one "difficult"). Recorded at the height of Mark E. Smith's "too drunk to give a shit" phase, this song's the only really good one. An incredibly fuzzy straight-out-of-Mel-Bay's-Guitar-Book lick and lyrics, when you can decipher them, devoted to the Spinal-Tap-esque recruitment of new band members.

By the way, those guys singing "We are the new Fall" in the background? They aren't.

Cocteau Twins, "Ella Megalast Burls Forever", unrated

I loved Blue Bell Knoll when I was a high school student; hell, I still love it now, but I don't have a cassette player. But how can you tell other people about how great the songs are when they're called "The Itchy Glowbo Blow" and "Suckling The Mender"? Frickin' precious bastards...

Ultra Vivid Scene, "Mercy Seat", rating: 70

I love how this song tricks you into thinking your earphones aren't working and then blows out your fucking eardrums. This song takes me back to a time when MTV would actually play a good song but you had to wake up at 3 in the morning to hear it...

Orgy, "Fiction (Dreams In Digital)", rating: 60

I like this song because it reminds of Rush. It's the perfect song to paint Warhammer miniatures to...

Ride, "Vapour Trail", rating: 100

If I like a song, I'll play it over and over and over again. And over. I'll stick the CD player on "repeat" and keep it going for about hour a day or so until I get sick of it. Usually that'll take three or four days; George Harrison's "What Is Life" lasted about three weeks. I don't know how many times I've heard this song in the last six months, but I'm not tired of it yet...

I'm guessing y'all are tired of riding NMJ, though...