Things I learned in London...

* Lovely city. There was just too little time to do everything, but we did a lot, mostly visit museums. And if a gun was held to my head and I was forced to choose only one to visit next time, it would be this one.

* When I visited Russia in the mid-90s, I'd always get a bit of schadenfreudistic glee when I exchanged dollars and received thousands and thousands of rubles. Exchanging money in London gives you the opposite feeling. Our dollars are 50p notes.

* I shook the hand of a Welshman, yes I did, yes I did.

* Is there any culinary product in the UK that Jamie Oliver wouldn't deign to place his used-to-be-hunky-but-now-kinda-chunky likeness?

* I'm a big pussy. We were recommended the Good Mixer pub in Camden (where Blur and Oasis used to hang), but as we approached the smoke-filled pub, packed with rather muscular-yet-lithe patrons clad in Doc Marten Touriststompers, my wife asked if we could pass as she didn't want her clothes to be covered in smoke. Feigning disappointment, I agreed, but secretly glad my clothes weren't to be covered with my teeth...

* I'm a big pussy. We saw We Will Rock You and I liked it...

* When one of my wife's colleagues told me that the food in London was horrible, I thought that he was just being a stereotype-indulgent asshole (good guess given his support of Republicans). But if my experience was any indication, he was kinda right. We sort of abandoned the restaurant idea and just kept getting grub at the local Sainsbury's(endorsed by Jaime Oliver!) And in a pinch, Pizza Express made a decent meal.

* Yeah, I felt like a schmuck for stopping at Starbucks, but at least I wasn't a schmuck with a caffeine-deprivation headache. Anyway, I've never seen such a concentration of Starbucks in my life.

* That Jimmy Carr's a funny guy. Actually, he's rather obnoxious, but ninety percent of the time that's the same for me.

* Didn't see one corgi. Or one MP doing a silly walk. Oh well, can't let life's little disappointments get you down. Can't wait to go back...